One question's what can't be done,
You tear me down with the same thing.
There's nothing there and it's begun,
What can you do when it all drains ?

Today nd yesterday were fun fun fun! Cabbed t Wife's place straight after school w Cai nd Geraldine visit her cos she was sick. We walked arnd tiong then went up t her house. Hahhaa, saw all th Jteam pple who were filming th show at her house, they were super nice nd funnnneh. ;D At 5, rushed down t bpp t meet parents. Had dinner at delifrance, went home pretty latee so I didnt go online.

Today wasnt a bad day. Bt I was super tired nd my eyes kept closing by themselves -.- Bused t Wife's house w her nd Mich. We put down out bags, said hi t th teevee pple nd went t dao bao ljs! Went up t eeeeattt. Adam Cheng was there todayyy! Nd a few of th Jteam actors. They were super super nice nd funnneh. We took peeektures! I cnt upload them now cos I didnt bring my camera along so all of th pics are w th two of them. Anyway, I wont upload them all either, you cn go t Wife or Mich's blog t see all when they upload them luh. I'm to lazyyyy ;D www.vacant-affair.blogspot.com or http://ilovestranger.livejournal.com

Sometimes, you really irritate th hell out of me. Yet I still cnt get rid of tht feeling. Why d'you have t be th way you are? I suppose its my fault though. You'll never get it.

I've been here before, and I don't care where I'm going. Dont write me off just yet,5:48 AM You're sweet just like the sun,
But what happens when the sun doesn't stay?
The night reminds me when you went away.
Now my mind was pacing,
Heart is racing, contemplating things that I lack.
Even though you left me by myself, do I want you back?

Arrived early at school. Said goodmorning t Caicai, grabbed her jacket nd promptly fell asleep on th floor. Day went by so slowlyyyyy today. I swear, I could've died. Watched th singing thing thing after school w stupidshite nd waited fr my dad t pick me up. Th glass cover thing thing of my sister's mp4 fr destroyed in my hands today. I'm veh veh veh veh veh sorry jie jie /:

Last night.
I feel so uneasy. As if something has grabbed my throat and ripped all th words away from me. In th pit of my stomach I feel a queasy sensation, spreading through my whole being. My chest feels tight and I find it hard t breathe. Its a scary, sinister kind of feeling. Not knowing wht this is, yet knowing its there. A force t be reckoned with. Nt your typical teenage angst, something much deeper nd complicated.

I struggle to get the words out, but tht silent force expels it back down into me as I gasp fr breath. Black clouds swirl around my head. Only metaphorically, yes. Bt nt without reason. This sensation, of nervous jitters nd a creepy sense of, wht d'you call it? Fear? Nt exactly. More like a premotion that a series of potentially humiliating events is on its way. Th kind tht breaks th spirit nd causes th person in question to lose all self-respect fr himself.

Rememeber this feeling. Suddenly, you're lost. You wnt t cry out bt you cant. Darkness nd its minions does this t you. Revealing all your weaknesses, finding all th things you've been clutching on so tightly to nd forces you to break away. Nd then you find yourself hanging in th air, suspended without a string. Clinging on t th void tht does nt exsist, simply because there's nothing else left t hold on to.

Suddenly its a mass of confusion and you dont know wht t do. All you cn feel is that amalgamation of emotions. Your heart pounds in anxiety even when you're safe in th crowd, nd even when you're alone, writing your thought, like how I'm writing mine, your heart continues t race widly though you try t tell yourself t think rationally. It doesnt help. Here it comes. Can you save me?

Can you? Dont write me off just yet,5:15 AM And all the bridges you've burned,
Leaves you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
And it's all gone, what's left for You.

First day of school today was surprisingly good even though it had a rather bad ending for me. Well, considering th fact tht I'm only running on 3 hours of sleep, its good enough I guess. Anyway, only fell asleep at 3am. Woke up at 6am hyper fr school. Call me a freak or whtever, bt I was actually kinda excited fr school.

Lessons were realllly good. We had elect hist first nd I actually listened nd took notes! English was a breeeeeze, just a compre nd summary which I actually enjoyed doing. Yes, I know. I am a freak. Th new canteen food sucks though, overpriced nd disgusting t taste. Eww. Amath was grrrreat fr once, Caicai nd I actually listened nd understood! We were kinda high from happiness ;D

Pure lit was funnn. I participated in class okeh! Nd Miss Norainee was veh happy about it. Hahha, I do love lit okeh. Just tht I'm lazy t contribute in discussions normally. Arlene was falling asleep beside me though. Lols. Ohh, it was only during Chem tht I had problems concentrating. By then, my energy was draining fast, nd it was soooooo boring. Bt I managed nt t fall asleeep ;D

Hanged in school fr just a leeeeetle after school. Then bused home w Ly. Reached home, did a leeeetle bit of chi. Ate dinner, fell asleep. Then woke up nd started doing SS homework. I'm halfway through, this is my break. Haha.

I.Am.Very.Upset. I know I do not sound upset. Bt I am. Mainly because uhm, something. Argh, my day was actually quite a good one. Bt something had t spoil it all. Oh, nd I just remembered tht I have t bring alot of things t school tmr, bt I kinda cnt rmb wht they are. Nd I have t file my amath file by wednesday, goooooooood luck t me. Idk how th hell am I gg t do tht ontop of finishing holiday homework.

<3
D'yknow how difficult it is t try t continue as if nothing has happened when everyone around you are talking about you you you? Nd how "oh, tht poor lil thing". I am NOT a poor lil thing. I dont need people's sympathy, thats just insulting. I hate patronizing comments like "Dont worry Ally, its okeh". I do NOT need them. Go away nd let me be, I've my friends. You dont know anything about me, nothing at all.

And when the sky is falling,don't look outside the window. Dont write me off just yet,6:13 AM Wuu yes, Ally is veh bored nd is in need of some light entertainment. Thus, this thing tht I ripped off somebody's blog. Put your song thing thing on random nd answer th questions. Theree you go!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY"YOU SAY ?
I dont love You, how ironic eh.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Another safe bet.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Death cab for cuties. Totally no linkkk.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
On top of th world. Yeah, right.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
A little less sixteen candles, a little more touch me 0.0 HAHA.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Bring em out. HAHA.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Better than me 0.0

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Operator, th line is dead. Unfortunately, how true.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
If everyone cared.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIES?
Only love ;D

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Thanks for th memories. Uh,

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Sexy back. HAHA,

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Here without you.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU??
Jie kou. Haha, how ironic.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Homecoming Queen

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
It ends tonight. Very appropriate, considering th fact tht I'm dead -.-

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Victims of Love

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Fixing a broken heart

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
When I'm missing you.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Lost without you. ;D

WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU REPOST?
Where ever you go. So not, I dont put titles ;D

Haha, okeh. Enough of being lame, I'm just being plain bored. Tatas fr now ;D Dont write me off just yet,6:29 AM When all you got to keep is strong,
Move along, move along like I know you do.
And even when your hope is gone,
Move along, move along just to make it through.

School again tmr! I'm kinda happy, bt still somewhat apprehensive about it. I mean, I've only done bits nd pieces of homework. Bt I'm nt really worrying about tht. Th only thing tht I dont wnt t face is AMATH. Nd th long boring lessons like elect hist, bio nd chem. Th rest are still tolerable, though only barely. Except fr SS which cn be fun sometimes, nd pe nd pure lit.

Will be able t catch up w those bitches tht I havent seen in forever too, so tht isnt too bad either. Haha, bt still. Imma fricking 15 year old, who's supposedly suppose t be gg through major hormonal activity, I'm nt suppose t like school! So I guess I'm weird. Because despite all tht shite, I kinda enjoy school. Once again, th only thing I dread is amath, nd getting wrath frm th teachers fr nt doing homework /:

Oh boy, school's starting! Th malice starts all over again //:

I keep you warm and won't ask you where you've been, Dont write me off just yet,5:11 AM Everybody's hurt somebody before,
Everybody's been hurt by somebody before.
You can change but you will always come back for more,
Its a game and we are all just victims of love.

Helllllo, so I'm here t update about yesterday which was so much fun ;D Anyway, was th FIRST t reach Jane's house at 2:40pm. Heh heh. Slacked arnd, watching teeveee, eating etc. People started coming in, blah blah. We ate, blah blah. Then Stupidshitee nd Shushu camee! Talked alot, then sent Shu down t th busstop cos she had t meet her mum.

Watched th bride of chucky, which was fricking gross. Ateee, cut th cakee. Talked somemore. Drank till stupidshite's face was redddd. Haha. People went home. Stupidshite left /: Hanged arnd Jane's place fr a while more. Playing w th spray spray thingy nd messed up her room by spraying it at her nd Jen ;D Her bro started telling us jokes nd Jen told us this realleh funneh one in chinese tht made me laugh so much I wnted t PEEEEEE. Hahhaa, thank god I didnt.

Anyway, after tht my dad came t pick me. So homed. Today, went fr th photoshoot. Bt I didnt like it, my sister's pics came out much much prettierr. Nd so many pple told me "Wah, your sister veh pretty hor" till I gt sick of hearing it /: Dropped by a Baby's house fr a while. Then we went off t suntec. Mum nd sis bought a new camera! Watched Fantastic 4 which was gooooood. Shopped arnd, then went fr dinnner. Courts, nd then homed ;D

Peeeektures! ;DD
I'm too lazy t wait fr Jane t upload ALL th pics t send t me, so uhm. If you wnt t see th REST of th party pics, go t her blog. http://janeliew.livejournal.com/ cos I've only uploaded a few. Th rest are peektures taken frm other days, so its nt alot ;D



At Arlene's placee.


Ger, Arlene.


Ger ;DD


Bday girll ;D

Helllo Jane (:

Veh veh veh messy hair.


Retarded, yes.


Stupidshitee ;D


Veh low quality picsss


Veh low quality picsss.


Pl ;D


Lyyy.


Helllo Girlfriend (:


Sisterr, todayy ;D





Thats all fr tonight, I'm really really tired. Do You know wht it feels like, loving someone who's in a rush t throw you away? Dont write me off just yet,11:44 PM I am such a sucker,
And I'm always the last to know.
My insides are copper,
I'd kill to make them gold.

Today is a happppy day cos I went out w my Wifee! Okeh, Wife was being a bitch t me today, asking me t shut up everytime I talk /: Bt I still love you Wifee ;D Anyway, we had loadsss of fun. Met arnd 1030 at Cine nd had our pinic! It was reallllehhh lovely, we laid out a pinic mat nd a little sign t tell pple nt t disturb us. It was sooooooooo nice, until th security guards chased us out //:

Haha. After tht humiliation, we went down t taka t walk arnd a lil. Brunched. Went shopping! Tried on clothess at Zara then left t shop shop shop. There was a huge sales at mango nd th fitting rooms were like fricking packed. I gt two tops there nd Wife gt one, so we were happy happy happy ;D After tht we went t heeren t shop nd t take printss ;D

After tht we cabbed down t serene t meeet duck nd Gail. Haha, we sat upstairs nd talked alot. Went t island t get icecreammm. Stayed there fr a while. Duck nd Gail left. Wife nd I were gg t bus t guidifang fr dinner bt didnt in th end. She ate there nd we talked t Sandra nd Flore who where studying there. Then my dad came t pick me up. Went t bukit timah t eattt, courts, then homed.

Nathan Wong Jun Jie, I miss you #$$^%$&^$@# much. Fly over here please? //:

We took peekturesss. Bt I havent gt them frm Wife yet cos they're in her cameraaaaa. I'll upload them nd th ones we took at Arlene's place another time then. Toodles ;D

I've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you.

<3
They thought I couldnt deal w it. I'm telling you now, I SO CAN. I'm so happy fr you I could cryyyyyy. Haha, I love tht song. Dont you? Dont write me off just yet,5:18 AM Back me down from backing up,
Hold your breath now it's stacking up.
Etched with marks, but I can deal.
And you're the problem and you can't feel.
Try this on, straitjacket feeling,
so maybe I won't be alone.
Take back now, my life you're stealing.

Bused down t town this afternoon t meet Ger, bt our Miss Tardy Queen was late again so I had t wait. After about 20mins she arrived so we cabbed down t Arlene's place. Started doing our bio project while Ger did her hist nd eng. Fooled arnd alot bt I'm glad tht we gt most of th info down. Now we just have t design th board game nd write th poem nd we'll be done, no sweat. Or at least I think so anyway ;D

Arlene's mum is a grrrreat cook. We kept eating, felt like such pigssss. We went t her room so tht we could concentrate on doing th boardgame bt th three of us just ending up talking nd laughing our heads off. My dad came t fetch us, dropped Ger off nd homed.

Oh, nd we camwhored a little today too. Bt town w Wife tmr! We're gg t go fr brekkie, shop till we drop nd camwhore alot. Yey! So I'll upload all th pics together when I'm free ;D

You asked to leave,but I can tell you that I've had enough.

<3
Oh yes, it hurts a little. If nt, alot. Its weird seeing how I never dared t let my heart go because I was so afraid tht I'd feel like this again. I was so afraid t be hurt, nd t likee someone who didnt feel th same way. It totally sucks. Bt then, I decided t give it a shot anyway. "How bad cn it be?" I thought. Ohh, so so so so so bad. Now I know eh. Kinda think tht I shouldnt have let myself go, should've just remained neutral like I trained myself t be. Now all tht's lost, nd I guess I'll have t deal w it. Dont write me off just yet,4:37 AM And all the perfect words they seem so wrong,
She's gone.

Baby came over yesterday. Deviantart-ed. Haha, its so fun! Go check out my deviant art! Go search by:honeysweets. I think you'll be able t find it (: Suppose t go out tmr bt I think we changed it t thurs. Bio w Arlene nd Mich on wed, then I think out on fri then Jane's bday nd photoshoot on saturday ;DD

I miss my Wife quite alot. Wifee, I havent seen you fr almost one month, I miss you so /:

To settle for less is not what I prefer,

<3
Cos all th resolve I've ever build up along time just breaks down when you're here. You appear nd there's nothing I can see. Some things are better left unside, now I know. I should've just kept my mouth shut. I know its hard t face these things. Bt I thought you should know, I've tried my best t let go. Dont write me off just yet,10:06 PM Babycakes, you make my eyes scream.
Lick th drips, then toss th cone away.

So, my computer's finally fixed. Bt I've gotton so used t my dad's lap nw, it feels weird using this. Th keyboard ndeverything is so different. Nt t mention tht we cnt use window lives on th computer cos its too old nd nt compatible. I hate using th old messenger /: This comp doesnt have my songs either //:

Jane nd Gamar came over yesterday. We went fr LJS then sent Garmar t th busstop cos she was gg t town. Jane nd I went back t bpp. Borrowed books, camwhored nd sat down t talk. Took countless of retarded looking pictures, then went homeee.

Went fr tui today, nd I didnt bring my calculator nd graph paper. Nd my pencil was out of lead, I was so so so screwed, so I borrowed frm random pple nd my teacher kept looking at me in this odd manner /: Sis's treating us t dinner later, bt idk where ;D

I havent been sleeping well fr th past week, dont know whyy. Just cnt seem t fall asleep properly. I hate th night, it always make me feel so small, so alone, nd so unable t run away or hide anything. Darkness does that t people, it finds all th places you're hiding in. It finds all th things You're holding onto tightly nd makes you let go. Nd then you'll wnt t cry, ugh.

Things used t be so, nice. Eating icecream while talking nd laughing about th most ridiculous things ever. Wandering around aimlessly bt still having fun, you telling your lame jokes tht made me laugh even though they weren't funny at all. Just having you as a friend, was so fun. Now you're so busy w your work, studies nd your love, nd I dont even dare t go talk t you in case I'd be bothering you. Oh well. I dont know if you know this bt I miss you, friend.

Maybe th strings tht hold us in race are more fragile than we can ever understand, Dont write me off just yet,1:26 AM We're sleeping through all our memories,
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive.
Now I only waste it dreaming of you.

Today is thank-you-all-you-lovely-people-day. I had a bad bad day yesterday, wht w my mum being a pain in th ass, homework piling up, nd other other other stuff. There were peopleeee t cheer me up ;D

Althea- Cupcakeeee. You're always being funneh nd making me laugh. I lovee talking t you nd I missed you so much when I was in Aus! We have t go out soon ;D

Cherrics- You're always there t listen t my rants nd make up ridiculous stories t make me laugh till I wnt t cryyy. I lovee you Wifeee&Confidante ;DD

Jane- Plx. I miss you so so much, Nd you're always there t talk me through th night. I lovee you so much, nd you're coming over later! Yey! ;DD

Seok- I bet you didnt know this. Bt talking t you cheered my mood up considerably ;D

Nat- You're always able t take my mind off things ;D

Vincent Nathalie- It was so fun talking t you. Thanks fr trying t cheer me up nd stuff, you're so sweet ;D

Somehow, I cnt bring myself t look inside. Dont write me off just yet,8:43 PM That hurricane she knew my name,
Nd tonight just feels like hell.

Towning w Baby yesterday was funn. Arlene came down t meet us fr awhile. Ate alot, walked arnd nd played arcade. Then Arlene lefted /: Baby's bf is so sweet t her, nd she's throws tantrum at him sometimes. I swear, she doesnt know how good she has it. Would be nice t have someone like she does isnt it?

Stayed up talking Cherry nd conferencing w Seok till late. Put down th phone nd started reading cos I couldnt sleep. Slept arnd 2am I think. I miss Nur Shuhada //:

I wnt t go back t Australia /:
Why?
Idk, I'm just so sick of everything here.
What's everything?
Everything la.
You have t be more specific.
Everything, just everything.
That's because you made someone your everything.

I swear, I didnt. Dont write me off just yet,8:05 PM Hyperventilation right around th corner.
Breathe breathe breathe.
God, I'M BREATHING FOR TH LORD'S SAKE!

Th only person who cn make it better is 3058723095miles away across th ocean.
Nat Nat Nat, why must you be so far away? //:

Fuck sia. Dont write me off just yet,6:26 AM Last week went by like a zyrtec,
I miss You so.

Omgomgomgomgomg. I just heard th most shockening hypothesis I've ever heard in my whole entire life. Well okeh, its nt 100% confirmed, bt it is veh veh veh veh veh veh veh scareeh. I mean, I knew tht yknow yknow was happening. Bt yknow! How cn it be her?!

Ohohohohoh. I may just get a heart attack now. Tht means all tht rubbish tht Cherrics nd I was crapping abt actually CAME TRUE. Shite, I should really stop talking rubbish. After tht they all come true how? Oh goddddd. I may faint nd die right now.

She'll take you for a ride and you'll be left with nothing,
You'll be broken she'll be gone. Dont write me off just yet,4:18 AM Dont write me off just yet,9:42 PM