i've always knew what i want. i know what i want. but you just had to come in and do this to me. make me so confused. and now i dont know what to do. is it true or was it jus a joke? i dont want to care. but i do. i dont want to do this. so stop telling me that. its not right. Dont write me off just yet,6:42 PM phew.. blogger is finally up again. hahas.. jsu now under maintenence.. waited for so long den can lerx. hee.. eng exam was okayy larx.. norrt too bad, can pass.. hee.. but i tink wun do so well.. *cries* hee.. nvm de larx.. i did my best. god knows. kena grounded.. wad can i do? haiis.. hahas.. todayy so damn unlucky. got caught in a big thunder storm AGAIN. 5th time this month. siianx.. lolx.. ask sis to help me take umbrella she take so long, wait until intially i was dry derx, becm wet.. hahas.. shitty.. anywaes.. later tonight better study ba.. tue got chi exam! die! lolx.. Dont write me off just yet,5:33 PM ahhh! i cant believe it! tml is e eng exam! hahas.. okayy larx.. im norrt tat freaked out abt it. in fact, im feeling pretty normal todayy. jus tat its an EXAM, tats why it sounds so BIIG. hee.. sho sadd.. e other day, my hp conked out! duno wad happened.. left it in e room ,wen i came back, i pressed it but no light came out. den wen i went to my inbox, and my folders.. e messages were ALL GONE! was so sadd larx.. all my xin xin ku ku save de sms-es all gone.. those tat encouraged me all gone.. e ones tat made me laugh also all gone.. haiis.. but nvm larx.. God let it happen, so i guess its norrt tat bad ba.. =X Dont write me off just yet,4:14 PM hahas.. din blog yest cos was kinda busy. anywaes, i rely have nothing much to say. onli have this : PRAISE THE LORD! weeheehee.. i passed my sci n my eng test! hee.. but e sci test was damn jia lat lorx. cos onli 13 peeps in my class passed. PHEW. thank goodness im one of them! weeheehee! i love you jesus! love you love you love you! hee.. but now mus JIA YOU lerx! first paper on fri! ekk! lolx.. im abit on high energy todayy. yeppx. hoping on sun can get ta c aunty gwen, hamz, AH GONG(hee.. lian jye), peace n e others perform! hee.. tat wld be sho cool larx. yeppx. pray PRAY! hee.. later gorrt piano, i din rely practice much! whoops.. hee.. oh wellx.. dun rely haf much to say. chaox! Dont write me off just yet,4:33 PM wahaha.. ive finally completed my 'internal n external threats' notes. mus rely work hard lerx. tis fri gorrt eng exam. next tue gorrt mt exam! ekk! hee.. but no worries, jesus will help me! hee.. i managed to exercise SELF CONTROL while doing e notes.. hee.. din turn on e internet while doing it, zuo wan lerx cai kai. hahas.. im so guaii. lolx.. well, tml gort pe.. still havent bought e new pe shorts.. stupid mr tan, say mus buy new one, cos i used my jie's one marhx and is e old one. last time mdam rozlina say can use lorx, but he say mus be the same as e rest of e class. lame larx.. stupid old se lang. arghh.. so damn uncomfortable larx e new pe shorts. i try before lorx, so norrt nice to wear.. sigh.. guess i'll jus haf to 'live and bear'. lolx.. nevermind larx i guess. jus ren shou yi dian lorx. den mus ask daddy for money again.. siianx.. hahas.. anyways.. going to watch tv lerx. chaox Dont write me off just yet,9:14 PM woahh.. had a really trying day at skool today. yeppx. but thank jesus, he made everything okayy. yeppx..started wiif chi test! it was so freaky kayy! i had NO IDEA wad the paper was talking abt! imagin how i felt! my goodness. esp e last compre part, i suddenly felt lyk i cldnt breathe, i jus cldnt understand! i was panicking lyk crazy larx. so i hurry prayed a quick prayer. hee.. tat kinda helped, but i tink i still screwed abt the whole paper. cos i din know wad i was writing? i jus copied frm e passage!
oh yay.. another test screwed up.. lolx.. but a good thing! recieved my maths paper, i was so damn scared larx. my heart beating lyk crazy, but den i decided to jus trust god. hee... i passed! weeheehee! onli wiif a B, but i still haf a chance to pull it up to an A in e final exams. PRAISE THE LORD!! woo hoo! =D yarx. i did my oral todayy too. din go too badly, i tink it was quite smooth larx e conversation, onli the passage i din know how to read 3 or 4 words. hopefully tat din do too much harm ba.. =p
hmmz.. been hafin sum lil problems lately lorx. duno y larx, but one ore two of e gals kinda always 'making fun' of me larx. saying tat im so 'holy' and stuff. todayy it happened again larx, but grace.d stood up for me lorx. she said tat tats how christians sld be wad, and dey sld be lyk tat too. hahas.. personally, i found tat kinda harsh but oh well, dey kinda shut up after tat. hmmz.. felt kinda bad larx, cos dey are pple tat i consider my good frens. ohh well..
`i dun care wad dey're going to say. cos im jus going ta follow you
e musical went okayy today. had technical problems but ohter den tat it went pretty smoothly. made e teachers laughed.. hee.. so i guess it was good. =)
ni yao wo shou duo nan kan?
wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
wei sheng me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo?
wo zhen de mei you tian fen
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
bu yao shang xin de tai duo
wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai
wo ye hui man man zou kai...
lalalalalalalalalalalalalllala
wo zhen de mei you tian fen
lalalalalalala
wo hui xuan zhe fang qi ni
shi ying wei wo tai ai ni..

`it hurt leaving dem. but if tats wad you want me to do, i'll do it.

`jus trust tat you'll bring me back to dem. one day. Dont write me off just yet,5:44 PM hahas.. shall take a lil rest frm studying.hmmz.. yarx. hee.. e other day i wen i was waiting for bus i saw a maxi taxi! hahas.. crazy rite? such a fuss abt a maxi taxi? hahas.. truth is tat it kinda reminded me abt e last time i went to POG. yeppx.. wen ty, hamz, mel n i were waiting fer a taxi. lolx.. wen dey were crapping about praying for a maxi taxi so tat we can fit everyone in. hahas. was kinda silly lorx. but in the end also took a normal taxi. lolx.. hmmz.. yarx. i rely miiss e youth camp man! it rely was so awesome! =)

why do happy memories sometimes hurt?

yea. i actually forgot most of e things tat i wanted to say larx. but anywae, i found tis paragraph frm a passage, tot tat it was kinda true yeas..

The dolphins would laugh out loud when they saw him. An animal laugh? Laughter, tears, the prerogative of humankind? Hah, what fools men are! It is human beings who have forgotten how to laugh . It is human beings who are lonely, friendless, who cannot, will never ever enjoy the touch of a warm hand, the beauty of a loving gaze. It is human beings who are cynical, callous, indifferent to the beauty of the world around them, incapable of feeling the pure joy of being alive, of seeing the sky under which they live, the earth over which they walk, just blind wanderers in the midst of the majesty of nature . Dolphins, fishes, birds, wolves, even the smallest insects are those who enjoy our world to the full.

hmmz.. if u tink abt it, its rely true lorx. the problem wif us is tat we dun enjoy the things tat we have. we dun appreciate wad we already posess. yea.. some of us even forget how to laugh. hmmz.. why mus we do tat? y mus we cheat each other?

why does the world decieve?
why do i make believe?
just take my feelings and made a fool of me.

yeppx. hmmz.. so jus rely praise god tat i have such wonderful frens tat helped me to boost my faith and get me back on e right track. i rely haf to thank them for tat. guess i will tml.

thank you god =) Dont write me off just yet,3:32 PM yeppx. well, today im kinda busy studying but tot tat i'd still write some stuff. actually gorrt lots of things to say larx. but i dun rely tink i haf e time now. yeppx.. mayb tml ba, after my mt test. yeppx. tml iishh e musical assesment. hope tat all will go well ba. yeppx. tiis week is e 11th week. but im fine. im okayy. hmmz.. yarx. came across e verse 'those who hope in the lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles. they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint'. tink its a pretty good verse, but dun tink i got it exactly correct.hee.. only rmb tat its sumwhere in colossians.. or is it? lolx.. cant rmb.. =p

MY FAITH IS BACK! PRAISE GOD!

my strenght is renewed. thank you jesus!

smiles real big and is ready for what's next!

=) Dont write me off just yet,2:05 PM hahas.. had so much fun yest. yest night angela(mummiie's fren), oh yea, she's also elysia's sis came to our hse. lolx.. we sang karaoke together. hahas.. norrt so much of me larx, jus her and sis. lolx.. was damn funny larx. laugh lyk crazy. den after tat we talk n talk n talk alot, cos mum also had another fren over, so she was talking to her. den sis n i talked to angela larx. hee.. had so much fun. angela is so 'in'. lolx. talked abt how wei lian sldnt haf won e thing etc.etc. hahas.. talk lots of funny stuff. den she has all these funny audio clips, video clips and pics in her hp, laugh lyk crazy larx. lol. den we took pictures! hee.. we rely lyk siiao lyk tat lorx. do all e stupid stupid kind of face. keep laughin wen we saw how we looked. lol. jus lyk crazy pple lorx.. hee.. den abt 2 plus sis n i went to sleep lerx. but she, mum and mum's other fren still awake. hahas.. i woke up in e morning and found up tat she slept over at our hse. lolx.. funi funi. yeppx. later going to grace david's hse to practice for our musical. mum keep nagging larx, keep saying'dun go lar!' so irritating. its not my fault tat dad wants to bring me go rite? she said wad so far etc.etc. arghh.. yest had a long long talk wiif leanne and grace. we deicided to skip recess once or twice a week to jus talk about god and to pray. yeppx. cos we're rely concerned abt the others larx, and their spiritual lives. hmmz.. i tink its a good idea larx. yeppx.. its great to be able to talk it up wiif pple. dey rely encourage me larx. i guess we all encourage each other. hmmz.. yea. sho i guess better stop blogging lerx ba. mian de later mum scold me again. chaox!=) Dont write me off just yet,11:30 AM ahhh.. okayy.. i feel so much better now. yeppx yeppx. happier.. more relaxed.. hmmz.. hahas.. i tink mum's right. i mus rely learn to DE-STRESS, cos im always getting so stressed out now a days so easily! yeas.. but hahas.. anywae. jus now beri happiie. called esther for a chat, den rely chat for berii derx long lorx.. hee.. beri long neber talk to her and catch up lerx. it was nice larx. rely miss her SO MUCH! hee.. yarx.. miiss all e others too. but iishh understood derx larx.. hee.. i nv say u all also know right? hee.. hahas.. yea.. sho feel much much happier now.. tink todayy i better norrt do too much 'stressing' stuff. jus revise my sci ba. also studying, can prepare for exam. yarx. actually i realized something larx. rely became kinda so called 'fragile' these past few months. it takes so little to make me freak out now. yarpx.. jus rely felt lyk crying larx jus now in skool, wen i realized tat im probably going to do real bad for tat test, and possibly fail. siianx.. but at e same time i kinda 'flashed back' about wad happen in the past 3 months or so. yarx.. jus rmb-ed e times wen i wanted so much to cry, but held dem all back. rmb wen i had to smile even wen i din wan to. its kinda pathetic. but sadd. yeas.. tats wad makes me wan to cry at every single little thing tat happens to me. yeppx.. but i also learned tat i mus press on in faith. so yar larx.. got good got bad.. so maybe sometimes there seems to be more bad stuff den good but jus haf to trust god and know tat its all part of his plan lorx. i rmb once someone send me an sms saying 'be a good girl of free will and let no obstruction prevent your journeyto heaven, and always seek God in prayer and ask for guidance and always be strong cause you have Jesus as your lover and he is there always to be with you. but also let yourself have the urge to know that he is there'...etc. hahas.. yes, i very long sms. i tink i still haf it somewhere in my fone cause i jus read it the other day. i tink it was sent quite a long time ago, but i rely encouraged me larx. sho i rely thank God tat this person actually sent tat sms to me. hahas..cos months later it rely encouraged me. yeppx.. sho i guess i better get ready to study ba. yeppx.. i love you jesus! =)

sometimes.. the one who seems strong, is actually the one who's the most vulnerable.
`she needs love Dont write me off just yet,7:25 PM im having a bad badd day.. boo hoo.. felt so damn bloody down jus now. nearly cried in skool. arghh.. maths test was WORSE den e sci test yest. i rmb-ed most of e formulas but i was so scared tat i mixed up e units. so all e surface area sums.. instead of puting meters squared or cetimeters suared or WADEVER, i pur METERS CUBE(or centimeters cubed or wadever). how shitty is tat? e worse thing is tat there were SO MANY surface area questions!! im so going to fail!! arghh.. and i din manage to finish one quest! there goes two more marks.. oh geez.. tiis is going to be the first time i ever failed MATHS. im such a failure! arghhh.. but i felt better larx.. actually bought maggie mee today cos it was e cheapest.. and i am BROKE. lyk totally broke. den she usually doesnt giif us extra 'liao' but duno y for sum reason she giif me chicken AND fishcake! hee.. she's so nice. but duno y suddenly gif me, lyk she know tat im sad lyk tat.. lol. den e western food stall aunty also berii nice. i told her abt my test. she very nice. told me nvm, jus forget it and jus concentrate on e other tests tat are coming up and e exams.. sighh.. but mummiie scolded me wen i called her.. sighh.. den after tat waited for the stupid pineapple to cum so can do oral. but she DIDNT COME. den went to find her, she said she cldnt make it today so postphone to TOMORROW. arghh.. irritating.. tml after eng test still mus stay back to do oral wiif her.. eww.. siianx larx.. onli good hting is tat our musical is making BIG PROGESSES. hee.. yeppx.. we've worked out plenty of things. and we're pretty familar wiif our lines now. yeppx.. better be cos e assesment is in one weekk! ekk!! lol. my arm rely hurts. i tink i injured it the other day playin badminton. *ouch*! hee.. tonight mus study.. mus motivate myself.. study study study! Dont write me off just yet,4:39 PM hooommee sweeet hooommee.. pheww.. im finally hme.. yay.. yupxx.. sci test was horrendous. i dun even know if im going to pass! oh god.. pls pls pls let me pass.. sho many quests i dun even recall revising for!! oh noo.. hahas.. anywaes.. sld jus forget it since its over. hmmz.. gorrt back my lit essay. norrt to bad i guess.. hahas.. actually its norrt tat good larx.. 65%.. but tats e third highest in my class lorx.. so sld be considered okayy ba.. at least norrt lyk half the class failed e whole thing rite? wee.. okayy.. tat sounds better.. make me feel better.. lol. omg! i cant believe it! cherry acted in the 9p.m show(channel 8)!! my gosh.. she was on one of e first episods.. e gerl tat e doc operated(on the ear) on. on e table! my gosh! i sld haff looked out for her! ekkk! i cant believe she was actually on tat show! hhahas.. she saiid tat she had 50 over NGs cos she kept laughing at how stupid she looked.. lol.. but is tat cool or wad manx? hahas.. she said mayb after e exams if gorrt audition she said can bring me go.. lol. but i dun tink i can act tat well larx. hahas.. norrt lyk her lyk tat. heee... tats y join eldds marhx. hee.. sho can improve. lol.. yea.. gorrt piano again later.. din do hw! ekkkk! hahas.. later den do larx.. now im kinda lazy.. hee.. Dont write me off just yet,2:54 PM yay! i finally finished revising chap13. but i forgorrt to bring back the notes for chap14! hahas. jus trust god n hope tat i can cram everything in skool tml for chap14 ba. hee.. but happie now can finally do my own thing.. but cant use comp cos mum wana use.. bummer.. siianx.. watch tv ba.. im also kinda hungry.. hee.. goodnight peeps! love yaes! chaox.. Dont write me off just yet,9:01 PM woooooooooah.. i seriously need to do some RELAXZATIONG EXERCISE. tat sister of mine is driving me crazy. duno if she had a bad day at skool or wad today, but tats NO EXCUSE for her shabby treatment of mi! arghh.. dun owads wrong wiif her. kept scolding me and nagging on and on jus cos she had to wait for me for a few mins after skool. so yar, now its MY fault tat my teacher let me out late n i took a lil longer? arghh.. den on e way hme, i told her tat i wanted to use e comp first, u know wad she said? 'no. im using it'. wen i said i asked for it first she jus said 'so? i dun care. im using it!' such a damn idiot. so i jus said 'ur so unreasonable!' she jus glared at me and started scolding me again. calling me an idoit.. spastic.. pig.. etc.etc. okayy. mayb im nort tat slim okayy. but AT LEAST i dun look lyk sum weird mixed up anorexic kid! arghhh.. den wen came hme she kept banging e comp cos she cldnt burn her stupid fotos into e disk! arghh.. den scolded ME for norrt opening the windows.. yea. why did she haf to scold me wen SHE HERSELF din bother to? SERIOUSLY! hahas.. okayy.. ive let out all my anger.. now i dun feel so bad anymore. PHEWW.. okayys.. now im freaking out cos gorrt a sci test tml! onli 2 chaps, 13 n 14. but ohh noo! argh.. 13 is physics! ohh noo.. im in such deep shit.. i dun know ANYTHING abt wad turning effects of force wadsoever! im am SO DEAD. ahh.. jesus please please PLEASE help me!! please please please! okayy! i know tat it was my fault tat i din listen back den! but i repent! i promise! ahhh! u've GOT to help me jesus!! please please please! wana stay top in sci! ahh.. cant let my phycis pull me down anymore! i cld haf gorrt A STAR if it wasnt for my bad marks in physics! hahas.. sho i mus do my revision after tiis. please please please.. let some big MIRACLE occur to let mi understand wad im suppsoe to doooo! help!

``sorry again
it wasnt you. it wasnt you at all.
you were always there to comfort me.
always there by my side.
i jus couldnt see it
cos i din wan to accept it
it was me
all my fault
i wasnt strong enough to recieve it
please take it away
take it all away
all that hurt
all that pain
i dont wan to feel lyk tat anymore
i want to praise you
i want to worship you
take away the burden in my heart
melt away the bitterness in my soul
cos i love you jesus
and i want to honour you
in all i do
i love you
i need you i need you i need you i need you Dont write me off just yet,4:28 PM blar blar blar.. im so damn siianx.. mum n dad norrt hme. siianx larx.. first time i can sue e comp at night n practically nobody's online.. how convinient.. den wen i cant use everybody's online. grr.. arghh sian sian sian.. nuffin to do.. haharsxx.. im nottie larx.. i din do e sci ws.. n i alsho din do maths hw.. and din finish doing chi ws.. weeheehee.. i deserve to fail. but i gorrt revise IH lorx. so considered quite good.. hmmz.. im getting frm bad to worse lerx.. nottiie gerlx.. weeheehee.. but im so lazy noww.. decided lerx, going to reschedule my oral to thur. yeppx. den i gorrt tiem to practice. cos wed still gorrt test. thur also haf. fri also.. den summore next week i gorrt my first exam paper.. die die die.. hahas.. mus think on the bright side. and motivate myself! i WILL study! i WILL get good marks! i WILL go to a better class! weeheehee! woo hoo! yes.. i am completely and utterly LAME! but do i care? noppex.. goodnighty.. =) Dont write me off just yet,10:12 PM jus gorrt hme. todayy after skool i went hme wiif zenia den we went to plaza to eat. lol. havent caught up wiif her for sum time. we talked alot and ALOT. bout pri skool n stuff. hahas. kinda miss bpps now. its kinda nice to talk to sum one frm there again. hee.. todayy wasnt a bad day. even thou i din do all e hw given, i still got away wif it all. lol. todayy at d&t cherry n i spent more den half e lesson in mr zul's workshop den in e main workshop cos he was helping us do extra stuff for our work. weeheehee.. mr zul sld be our teacher, he's so nice. norrt lyk mdam yow.. so shitty.. always nagging abt how imature we are n how childish we are. irritating lorx. hahas.. mr zul is so funny. we made him laugh till he almost cried. lol. cherry's tops at mimic-ing mdam yow. lol.. sho damn funii. yeppx.. i re-scheldued my chi oral! weeheehee.. i tink i'll do it on thur ba. dun feel lyk doing it on any of these days hee.. after blogging den im going to check mail. den mus STUDY lerx! hahas.. dun care die die also mus study! get good results! wahahaha. cos i promised god yest tat i wld study after i check mail n blog. =p

my apology to you

you know what's best for me
you have a plan for me
you know everything
and im sorry
sorry for doubting you
sorry for running away
sorry for turning away
can i make things right with you?
i realize i cant live without you
everytime i fall i look to you
i feel lost without your love
im speechless without your word
insomic without your comfort
defeated without your mercy
i fall deeper and deeper into sin
i know you are the way
i know you are the truth
you are my life
you are my king
you are my lord
and im coming back to you
cos your the one that i want
your the one that i need
you're everything to me
forgive me please
i love yo ujesus
i cant live without you
forgive me
-me Dont write me off just yet,4:24 PM woooo.. went on an eating spree wiif hui li n korx(rong) todayy. lol.. went seriously crazy. lol. after e dim sum we went to walk walk at e mall in china town. hehe.. bought candy floss! wahaha.. sho nice, and hui li bought sum weird egg thingies, we shared but i din eat e eggs. hehe.. dey looked abit weird to me. =p yeppx. den korx bought a book fer mii! hehe.. but i kinda regreted choosing tt book cos it was sho boring abt butches n stuff. eww.. lol.. den wad else did we eat next? lol.. we were walkin past a chicken rice stall den kor said 'eh.. wan to eat chicken rice?' hahas.. it was kinda funi. we bought e $3 chicken rice n e 3 of of shared! hahas.. fighting over e chicken, e soup, n e rice. lolx.. was kinda fun. eat until berii shuang. hee.. yeppx.. den later we went to eat haagen das! woo hoo.. ate so many things. den cos tonightx we're celebrating hui li's burrfdae(which is actually on wed) sho there's going to be lots of things to eat AGAIN! weeheehee.. no wonder im getting so fat! duno y korx jus doesnt get fat one lor. and he eat so much summore. lol. anywaes.. dun rely feel lyk writing anymore lerx. buaiis! Dont write me off just yet,5:31 PM well.. todayy is sunday agaiin. going for dim sum wiif my aunt and family, my darling couzziie(shi wei) is treating us! woo hoo! lol.. yea.. its e 10th week now. okayy.. trusting in god.. waiting apon the lord. hmmz.. hamz sent mi an sms yest and told mi to read isaiah30:21. hmmz.. i tot that it was pretty good. lol. but i kinda woke me up. wad did it say? cant rely remember all but e thing tat stood out to me was 'this is the way. walk it'. or something lyk tat ba? lol. oh well.. look it up again today. yuppx.. tml going to skool again. chi oral! i am so dead... even RONG JIE says tat my chi sucks.. oh crapp.. Dont write me off just yet,9:20 AM now in my aunts hse. i tink eating diinner somewhere near here today. yeppx. had to stay back at skool today for thiis talk thingy by tiis ex student of stmargs. i tink tt she's lyk 60 or 70 something arhx. she looked so old. lyk an ah ma lyk tt.. lol.. cos mrs tey asked mi, natalie n melissa to attend the talk sho we no choice mus go lorx. but quite interesting larx. norrt too bad. but she talk abit weird, hard to hear. lol. yea.. sho tired these few days. nv blog also cos tired, cum hme so late. den also mus study.. exam coming soon.. ugh.. Dont write me off just yet,5:12 PM hmm.. hahas.. had loads of time for thinking. well.. all i want to say is tt if i ever meet satan... I WANA KICK HIM TILL HE FALLS AND NV GETS UP! seriously.. i duno whether its sumthing wrong wiif mi or is it jus him. he's rely been at mi these few months.. so IRRITATING. STOP KICKING MI DOWN! ive got to get up man.. my faith! where is it going?! *frantivally tries to find it* come back come back! dun run away! its so hard. mus pray pray PRAY! god restore my heart! let me be able to trust again! its so weird. in skool sometimes i jus wana tell everybody abt god. jus tell dem every single wonderful thing tt he has done for mi! but den wen im alone i get so lonely n dejected again. how can i. the person who always told grace n tricia.. DUN GIIF UP! dun giif up on god! dun let the devil shake you! stand strong! stand firm! how can i.. the one who has fallen tell others all that? wad a freak! wad is wrong wiif mi??ARGHHH.. annoying.. irritating.. and frustrating!

dear dear god..
can u hear me? can u see me? why cant i feel u anymore? its such a horrible feeling! i thought my life was perfect, even before u found me. but i was wrong, i found u, den i tot tt my life was REALLY perfect. i had you, my frens, church.. tts all i ever needed! i was content! ye, church, n frens n family.. tt was all i needed. wad happened? why did all these things haf to happen? i was told to obey for the time being and i did. but its been a weeks now n ive been waiting for ur miracle. where are you? why cant i feel you? why i cant i see you? i wake up in the morning sometimes, and i can feel you. i jus want to sing to you, i want to praise u. i want to dance jus for you. but i cant. i cant! wad is happening? how did i allow satan to steal away my faith?? lord i need you! please come back into my life! i really need you..

-me Dont write me off just yet,5:18 AM jus gorrt hme norrt long ago. had lunch wiif crispin jus now. after lunch wen was going hme. i was stupid enuf to believe tt 'his way' was the shorter way to a nearer bus stop. stupid.. we wasted sho much unnessesary time jus cos we din go MY WAY. lol.. anywae.. he still had to walk further cos he was on the wrong side. lol.. norrt my problem.. who ask him wan to walk tt way.. hehe.. summore said 'trust me, i know wad im doing' . lol.. yarx.. sho siianx.. later gorrt piano.. dun feel lyk hafin lesson.. im so tired. wan to sleep.. Zzzzz Dont write me off just yet,3:39 PM well.. im back hme lerx.. yeppx.. today wasnt sho tiring larx.. but last period was SHO BORING. lol. mother tongue lorx.. hahas.. i hate to say tis.. but i din rely pay attention.. heehee.. oh well.. yeas.. ate lunch wiif alysa n jannah at the student hub den went hme lerx.. hahas.. and guess who i saw on the bus? kelly n sarah! hahas.. frm bpps.. dey're in CHGS now. see dem occasionally frm time to time. cos dey both live in hazel park. last time i saw danizta. but alsho dun rely know dem tt well larx. jus know er yi.. lol. yea.. later going to my aunt's place fer dinner cos mum has to go to a funeral thingy near there. yeppx.. kinda siianx larx.. tml gorrt piano already. n i havent practiced much. hw alsho havent done.. sigh.. later den do barhx.. haiis.. thiis sat actually haf a bbq at crispin's place.. siianx.. i cant go cos dad's working place thingy iishh having a cruise for their anniversary.. haiis.. okayy larx.. i suppose it wld be fun lar.. but i much rather be wiif YE lorx.. arghh... but i guess god jus allowed it to happen thiis way ba..i tink even iif dun haf the cruise mum also wun let mi go ba.. *double sigh*.. but cant help feeling sad lor.. rely havent seen dem in a long long time.. sigh.. Dont write me off just yet,3:30 PM well.. today was an okayy kinda day. but i feel sho tired! lol.. slept in the bus again.. and keep hitting my head.. painful siiax.. sho difficult to sleep in the freaking bus. yeppx.. skool was okayy larx. but actually ended early de lorx.. at 1:45p.m but den in the end i had ta stay back wiif bahar cos we din go for the remedial. hahas.. was cool larx.. i actually understood wad miss lum was talking abt! woo hoo! hahas.. guess i better brush up on my physics.. cos exam coming soon. hehe.. lucky i scrapped thru last term. this term better brush up. guess it was kinda my fauly too larx cos i din listen much in miss tan's class! hahas.. but alsho norrt my fault lorx.. she's so boring.. hehe.. yea.. tt time crispin say mayb will help mi. but hahas.. he sho stingy derx.. after tt sure say i owe him money. lol. hehe.. yarx.. okayy larx.. going to do my stuff now. catch u guys later.. chaox! Dont write me off just yet,4:52 PM well.. hehe.. nv blog again for a day or two. yeppx.. guess jus been tryin to enjoii the last two days of our hol. yeppx.. norrt bad larx.. had sum fun.. but tml go back to skool again.. hahas.. kinda feel abit siianx thinking abt it.. havent even packed yet.. haiis..

yarx.. yest went ta support vina in her story telling competition. haharsx.. she look sho cute in her lil coustum on the stag! lol.. so confident leii.. in the shopping center tell story.. hahas.. tink my aunt n uncle were real proud. i was too! hahas.. my own cute lil couzziie! lol...

yea.. later went to her hse. hehe.. i love their massage chair! hehe.. sat in it fer real long.. sho shoick lorx.. wish cld sit there forever.. hahas.. was rely damn nice. den played ps2 wiif vivian n vina.. hahas.. quite fun siiax.. berii long nv play these kinda things.

after tt later in the night we went to chervon club for karaoke. lol.. while waiting we played pool and e foosball thingy.. hehe... had fun larx.. anyhow shoot here shoot there. lol.. but it was real cool. den played in e arcade. i din rely play larx.. jus watch hui li n dem play.. hahas.. i find arcades siianx lorx...

hmm.. yea.. hahas.. tt day on fri alsho went on a bbq! hehe.. yeax.. talked to one or two girls over there. dey seem quite nice larx.. hahas.. quite cute, nice to talk to. played maple there.. hahas.. den after e bbq dad n i went to buy hagan dazz! weeheehee.. still gorrt left sum. i love it! hehe.. rocks..

yeppx.. today went to see mummiie highlight her hair. hahas.. she say she onli go for fun cos my aunt(mother side) wanted to. hehe.. den hui li also cut her haiir. cut le berii nice leii.. berii choii.. but she dun lyk leii.. summore throw tanturm siiax.. tsk tsk.. she's rely getting out of hand.. lol..

hmm.. yea.. and daddy cooked roast pork today for dinner. hahas.. was a biig sucess! hehe.. rely berii niice lorx.. berii crispy.. sho niice! weeheehee! love it!

haiis.. tml go back to skool! hahas.. but mus think on the bright side larx. den it'll be more enjoyable lorx.. hahas.. mus rely buck up larx tiis term. jus one more term left mus work hard lorx. one more term niia! hehe.. mus motivate myself to do well lorx.. dun wan to stay in thiis class till next year. mus get to a better class.

hmm.. yeas.. realized in the past months my faiith level rely dropped down down down... yea.. trying to find my faith again. yea.. been a lil hard but jus trying to stand firm ba.. hmm.. yarx.. trying my best lorx.. but yarx.. i rely felt the fire dying lorx.. haiis..

yeppx.. rely rely rely rely rely miishh YE sooooooooo much! miss pog too.. haiis.. siianx larx.. used to find it sho tormenting jus waiting 1 week jus to see dem.. now i know how hard it iishh.. arghh.. nv see dem for more den 2 months lerx.. duno still gorrt how long.. still waiting.. hope tt god will do something ba.. sigh..

ye!!! i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww i mishh yeww soooooooooooooooooooooooo much! :'(

lol.. well.. guess i better get back to my 'school mode' ba.. hahas.. i dun rely feel lyk memorising 20 over chapters.. hahas.. but no choice.. haiis.. yeppx.. ren yi xiao ba! jus 1 more term! mus get good results or else cannot enjoii hols lerx! jiia you! and peeps out there! u alsho jiia you worx! den we enjoii e hols together yea? =D

dun feel lyk blogging lerx.. chaox! Dont write me off just yet,7:43 PM well, its fri today. coming close to 9 weeks le. lotsa questions are being raised. rely hard for mi to answer. duno wad to say. aunty gwen's been real busy for e past weeks, haven spoken to her in a long time. rely miss her loads. miss ye too! arghh..

yarpx.. haf mii piano lessons jus now. went ok lorx. learnt a new song. bought my exam books already, mayb next year march taking exam ba. think abt it also feel kinda siian.. dun rely feel lyk takin lorx.

listening to rain down now. berii nice. hee.. love thiis song. it rely kinda expresses how i feel. =)

---wan ur presence to rain down on mii--- Dont write me off just yet,11:53 AM hahas.. well, now a days rely duno wad to write here larx. never thought that i'd ever say this, but my life suddenly feels sho boring. i always used to feel weird wen i hear pple say tt, but now i dun. cos it rely does feel bored. yarpxx.. i miss ye.. Dont write me off just yet,4:08 PM well.. i havent written in a day or two cos mii comp had sum weird prob, cldnt acess blogger. weird.. yeppx.. but dun rely wan to write much larx. feel sho siianx. dun feel lyk wrtiing abt much. hahas.. yarpxx.. blog later ba.. Dont write me off just yet,2:35 PM wahaha.. i freaked mum out yest night wen my fever came back again. lol.. to 38 degrees. sho siianx.. keep going and coming, im feeling so sick of it. yeppx.. sho now staying at hme.. wan to do work, but hehe.. at the same time lazy..=p

hmm.. yarx.. now measuring my temp again.. hopefully it went down le ba.. nw my thoart norrt too bad le, but gorrt cough.. stupid right? later still going to plaza for lunch.. dun feel lyk going..

well.. my temp iishh now still 38.. mus get better worx.. or else mum dun let mi go out tml le.. pray pray pray.. Dont write me off just yet,11:29 AM well, its another sunday morning, again. my fever has went down le and my thoart isnt so sore anymore, thou it still hurts a little. guess god heard my prayer.

i tink later going to meet desiree ba? norrt too sure, i tink i heard dad saying sumthing abt going out wiif uncle alan and her or something larx. yeppx.. mum n dad norrt hme, duno wad they're doing larx. i tink fetching grandma to duno where.. i also dn care..

hmm.. it's been 2 months now. exactly 2 months. how long is this crazy thing going to continue? arghh.. im going crazy! Dont write me off just yet,8:33 PM wahaha.. my fever has gone down abit, now its abt 38 degrees ba? but now haf a horrible sore throat. summore mum booked a room at k box, hahas.. cos mii aunt say wanted to go together. hahas.. i tink i dun niid to go le.. :'(

siianx.. duno y sho long le fever still nv go.. hate the stupid pills.. the after taste ish rely horrid. ugh.. disgusting, im so tired of drinking 'lots of water', feel so bloated, i can literally feel the water in my stomach.. haiis..sho siianx lar..

---jesus! heal me!--- Dont write me off just yet,10:31 PM ohh goshh.. jesus.. u seriously haff to help miies! arghh.. feel lyk im walking on a slanted ground.. once i stand up mus siit down lorx.. dad say mayb i sit/lie for too long. nearly knock into the fone stand wen i got up. now still feel so dizzy.. haiis.. jus now my temperature went down, den it shoot up again.. siianx larx.. Dont write me off just yet,6:43 PM jesus jesus.. pls help mi! haiis.. been sick yest n today.. my body feels so lousy.. sigh.. yest wen was at leanne's hse i suddenly had a horrible headache. haiis.. den realized tt i had a fever. yeppx.. on the way hme i tot it was better le, but den after a while the fever came back again.

last night was e worst.. i felt so cold in the bedroom while sis's saiid it was so hot. sho i went to mum's bedroom and slept there.. its normally norrt cold at all but i was shivering! jus kept shivering n shivering.. was horrible. din get any sleep at all.

yeppx.. went to c e doctor jus now. he gave mi so many pills.. sigh.. damn sianx.. the lozenges that he gave mi was sho eww.. wen it was in the mouth it tasted ok, but after eating it the after taste was so horrid! arghh.. bitterish bitterish..

cldnt eat anything jus now except for sum watermelon and sum grapes.. i think im having a gastric pain right now. sigh.. i hate being sick..

---jesus please help!---

Dont write me off just yet,3:00 PM