haiis.. now feel sho damn sianx.. hehe.. sis ish out sho i haf e comp to myself! weeheehee. but now duno wad to do.. siianx.. sho jus listening to music and chatting.

gort sho seriously pissed off wif mel jus now. arghh.. stupid idoit.. hahas.. but onli for lyk 5 mins larx. duno why, cannort stay angry wiif any of e YE peeps no matter how annoying or irritating dey are, hahas.. dey seldom are thou..

lol.. oh well.. hahas.. since im sho nice, i forgive him for being so lame.. =p..hahas.. i know de mel, after u read tiis u sure gorrt something to say de.. hahas.. nvm, i forgive u before u even say it! =d

---goodnighty peeps--- Dont write me off just yet,9:21 PM jus finished eating dinner. piano lesson was ok larx. but felt damn tired, cldnt rely focus whole heartedly but lucky my teacher din notice much. yeppx.. diiner was quite niice. duno why, it jus tasted exceptionally well today. lol..

hehe.. was sho happiie jus now. coz after mii piiano lessons i saw got a miiss call frm mel(cos i called him jus now). yeppx.. called back, and aunty gwen was there! hehehe.. sho got to talk to her too! =D sho long nv talk to her le sho was berii happiie. cldnt chat for long but enjoiied it lorx.. geez.. i miiss her shoo much! ='(

hmm.. yar lorx.. sho lyk tt onli ba.. later gorrt to call leanne and ask whether its confirm meet at skool den go her hse tml.. sigh.. feel sho tired, dun rely feel lyk going. lol.. but wen see her, grace,tricia, natalie and e others (elizabeth, freya) i know tt i'll feel damn energized de.. lol.. coz they're all so high energy, duno wad type of pill they're taking, jus go on n on n on.. lol..

well.. tired of blogging le.. ciiaox!

---giif mi strength lord--- Dont write me off just yet,7:11 PM woah.. another frustrating day att skool.. hahas.. norrt exactly at skooll.. but today was jus so crazy for miie. finished skool at abt 1:30p.m. sho hurry rushed hme to get changed. on my way hme had so many fone cals frm jun hao n eden. hmmx.. dey imformed mii tt bpps was closing early today! at 2:30.. i was sho sho scared tt i wld miss it.


i was rushing lyk mad lorx.. but still din make it on time. haiis.. wen i reached there the skool closed le.. onli a few pple still standing outside the back gate there.. sigh.. talked to xiao shi xiao ting fer a lil while den i go le.

called yee gin, she saiid tt she was going to lot1 wiif sum others sho i was goiing to meet them at e LRT. sho damn swei.. i walked the wrong way but found out in time, but it was such a long walk to the right LRT station! wen i finally reached, i tried to top up my card but it got stuck in the machine!

arghh.. waited for so long for the guy to come help mi get the card out. he took more den 15 mins lor.. sianx.. i wait lyk siiao. finally gorrt my card out, den i put it in again to top up. but guess wad? i din know tt e minimum u haf to top up iisshh $5. only had $6 wiif mi but no choice sho i was left wiif onli ONE DOLLAR..

yeppx.. sho stupid of me, sld haf brought more money. but how was i to know? haiis.. entered e station, looked at e time and nearly jumped.. the bus was due in SIX MINS and im having piano lessons later at 5:15p.m.. yea.. if i actually went to lot1, i have to come back as soon as i reached.

hiya.. sho den i went out to take bus.. siit down there for so long, i realized tt taking the LRT wld haf got mi hme quicker and the stop iishh also nearer to my hse.. arghh.. sho i got up to go n take LRT.. sho damn frustrating.. go up go down.. run here run dere.. hope next year wun be lyk tt..

sigh.. piano teacher coming in about half an hour.. rely dun feel lyk having lessons now.. feel lyk sleeping instead.. sigh..

*snore*.. Dont write me off just yet,4:47 PM wow... today was sho freakingly tiring.. reached hme early but realized tt i forgorrt to bring my house keys! i was lyk.. damn it.. was sho damn tired lor.. still cannot go into e hse.. summore sis finish skool on at 3:45.. sigh.. i called mum and she told me to go to e libarary first n wait fer sis..

yeppx.. spent most of e time in e library.. hehe.. i was suppose to do hw but i read lots of books instead.. hehe.. i know.. i know.. im naughty.. wahaha.. =D den went to macs to waiit for sis.. quite niice larx.. but met many of mii pri skool frens.. hmm.. saw annabel too.

yeppx.. see larx.. jus came hme frm plaza.. very soon going back again to meet mum there coz tonight dad's working night sho we're norrt cooking.. sho gotta meet her there. haiis.. siian.. dun feel lyk walking there again.. feel sho tiired.. cum hme still mus file my mt file and do hw..

hmm.. tml going to go back to bpps! wahaha.. actually was goiing to go alone de. coz duno y my skool end at 1:15.. sho bad de.. other pple end sho early.. we pian pian end at 1 plus.. yar.. but in the end jun hao askk mi whether wan to meet a pending LRT or norrt den we go together wiif shawn. dun owhether gorrt ask eden or norrt.

yarx.. sho i tink i sld be able to make it ba.. but damn scared lorx.. tml got piano lesson! i neber practice at all lehx.. sho dead.. later still mus do work.. where gorrt time to practice?? die die die..

--help mi lord!--- Dont write me off just yet,5:33 PM well, today was a frustrating day at skool.. gorrt back almost all my results le.. okayys.. mum is rely gona kill me now..

haiis.. oh well.. wad done cannorrt be undone. gorrt back my overrall maths results, B3.. sho shitty.. nv gorrt B in maths before.. but lucky my overall for term 1 till now is still abt A2 sho can tell her tt.. but my ranking iishh not in the top ten anymore! onli in da top 15.. and my place is 15! oh no...

:( as for eng.. sigh.. after tirelessly bringing up my C to a B.. my mark has dropped back down to C again.. haiis.. now tt is someting im rely scared for remarks by mum.. well.. for chi.. i'll be glad if i even pass.. but i think tt tt sldnt be a problem ba.. hope tt mum doesnt say too much abt chi thou..

yepx.. thankfully still gorrt at least one A! hehe.. my darling darling science.. thank god fer it.. havent gort back my IH and LIT results but am hoping tt i can get an A for IH?hmm.. norrt rely hoping for much there, but there's still a teensy weensy lil bit of chance i guess.. oh well.. jus haf to pray and hope fer the best!

hmm.. today's singsperation was quite ok larx.. hahas.. but i still lyk chapel better.. the songs we sang was abit lyk slow slow de.. hehe.. kinda boring larx.. but there was one song quite niice.. cant remember the name.. but it was real nice.. hehe.. a few of the verses keep playing in my head but i cant rmb e whole song.. but was niice larx.. hehe..

yeppx.. im jus sho tiired now.. din get much sleep last night. jus cldnt sleep. hahas.. mayb i sld take a nap later? lol.. that kinda sounds nice, havent had a nap in a long long time.. hehe.. tt idea rely sounds nice to me now.. =)

---praying feverently--- Dont write me off just yet,3:23 PM hmm.. normally wen im feeling alone or down, i'll act real crazy till sumone tells me that im alwaes sho cheerful. which is wad im doing now. gen jus told me tt. now i rely know the meaning of 'never judge a book by its cover'. haiis..

the things u all dont know Dont write me off just yet,8:40 PM well.. wad can i say? there's nothing much nice to say on sundays now a days.. was jus another sunday.. w/o pog.. w/o ye.. of course there isnt much to say. hmm.. im sho damn frustrated, but cant vent my anger.. arghh.. rely feel lyk hurling myself against the freaking wall...

arghh.. this sucks.. sucks lyk hell.. pardon my language.. but it DOES Dont write me off just yet,6:22 PM weeheehee! i finally got my new blogkskin up! hehehe.. niice breezy morning. going to be a guai gia and do my work later.. hehehe.. but now mummiie norrt at hme, use comp first! wahahaha.. Dont write me off just yet,11:25 AM ahh! so frustrated! found tis nice skiin tt i lyked. but keep gettin the html wrong! everytime i try to fix something, another thign goes wrong! arghh.. sho in the end i decided to switch bac kto this one first lorx.. tml den try again ba.. haiis.. tt was sho niice.. muz try again! =D Dont write me off just yet,9:50 PM woah.. am finally hme, went to my aunty's hse jus now after skool coz mii mum wanted to go to e salon near her hse..

yeppx.. had a real long day today. feeliing so draiined out.. nothing surprising actually. yest night was shooo tiired.. was jus going to talk to god fer a lil while before i went to sleep. den guess wad? coz mi grandma iisshh at my hse fer these past few days.. i got engaged into a long long chat wiif her coz she cldnt sleep.. by the time she CLD sleep, it was real late.. and i dropped off to sleep too..

hahs.. yea, i kiinda fergot to pray. but i woke up lyk at 4a.m in e morning and remembered tt i forgot to pray.. sho den i said a quick prayer and doze off agaiin.. lol..

got back my sci overall marks today. woo hoo! i topped the class! hehe.. norrt being ego.. but AGAIN. hehehe.. but onli beat rachel by 0.6% larxx.. sho actually we're both the same i guess. hehe.. but still more den her! lol...

hehe.. got back my IH paper le. norrt top, but hehe.. got into the top10! woo hoo.. tts a change frm my sci n chi! lolx.. but duno overall will be how. hopefully can get an A ba.. den mayb i wun get too much scolding. hee..

hmm.. the other day, i was jus walking to coronation after skool to catch a bus frm there. it was all niice and quiet walking through those biig bungolows.. yeppx. coz it was abt 5 plus sho was quite cool and peaceful.. was kiinda niice for once, to jus walk alone and enjoii the atmosphere. yeppx.. i talked to god as i walked there, was so niice to see hiis wonderful creation.. so beautiful that day. i felt so at peace! hahas.. cld even hear the birds singing!well.. fer the past wk or so, haf been jus continuosly feeliing sick and tiired or everything. both mentally and physically.. but walking alone there helped mi relax i guess.=)

hmm.. today's chapel was rely niice. it had a 'hint' of POG in it.. mayb onli a lil % onli bat 10% i guess, but it still felt wonderful. all the songs were beautiful. we sang 'one day', 'running after you', 'who am i' and 'jesus lover of my soul'. it felt so good to be able to praise god in a biig group agaiin.

hmm.. it kiinda reminded mii of e YE peeps.. rely miiss dem lots. been abt 6 wks now.. cuming to7 wks.. im feel lyk ive losted almost all contact wif dem manx.. except fer a few larxx.. but still feel so far away frm dem.. i miss dem.. i rely do.. haiis..

---missing those wonderful pple of god---
:'( Dont write me off just yet,5:15 PM hahas.. yeppx.. u can guess, had a real craziie day today.. laughed lyk crazy. yeppx.. had 2 periods of IPW n 3 of music today, sho was quiite fun larx.. hahas.. n leanne is back! i missed her sho much! heehee.. the class is back to its lively mode now tt she's back, hee..

yeppx.. actually the initial plan was to go to orchard, but in the end we had to go to the debate comp to support our skool mates coz we made it to the championships! hehe.. onli our skool n MGS were left. yeppx.. sho actually had to assemble at 3p.m..

haiis.. but in the end, dey said that we had to aseemble at 2.20p.m. sho den cherry, miiex, and alysa were debating whether to go to macs ot norrt.. hahas.. argue here argue there.. we finally decided to go lorx.. hahas caught a taxi there coz alysa(as usual) insisted tt we take, sho we did lorx..

hahas.. den we din even eat finish, sho we take away.. lol.. huri caught a taxi back to skool.. hhahas.. was sho crazy.. cldnt stop laughing coz we were jus crapping all the way. we were crazy crazy crazy kz.. but we reached jus on tiime, hehe.. miss yeo neber scold..

yeppx.. the debate was real good. the MGS gerls spoke real well, our gerls alsho. but in the end MGS still won. hahas.. but the marks was damn close, oli abt 3 or 4 i tink? or was it 2 or 3? hahas.. i also duno. lol.. but we were commended fer 'good sportsmanship' lol.. coz we cheered fer mgs too.. hee...

yea.. sho wen we reached back at skool was sho damn shack lorx.. tiired tiired.. went onto the bus had a terrible headach, n wanted to vomit lorx.. felt so siick.. hahas.. but den cum hme rest a little whiile jiu ok le..

ohh yea! today iish my faiith darling's burrfdae! hahas.. smsed her in the morn to wiish her and called her jus now. lolx.. she's so adorable, hahas.. such a darling! love her sho much.. =D wahaha.. ur goiing to be sho ego now debz! =p

yest nv blog coz berii busy. after skool had my eng test lorx.. hehe.. and my sci test. got back e results fer my sci test today. got 15/20! yippee! hope tt tt can pull up my phyics marks(20 n a half/40.. sucks..), hehe.. but my sci investigation was prety good, i got top in class(28/30)!! hehe.. sho sld be able to pull up ba.. i hope? hehe..

yeppx.. now my daddiie wan mi to watch tiis lamo programme thingy on e tv.. duno wad its about larx.. sumting abt learning chi.. ew.. tt sounds sho boring. oh well.. go watch le.. ciiaos!

--thank you jesus!-- Dont write me off just yet,8:00 PM woah.. finally finished revising for my tests tml.. hopefully can do well ba.. heehee..

haiis.. jus realized tt i had been having a few 'injuries' lately, thou nto life threatening but dey hurt soo much manz.. yest hurt my finger in d&t, hurt it real bad.. sho paiinful, the whole hting went numb for the next 45 min siiax... paiin paiin.. now still got the mark, mdm yow say it wun go off until sometime.. siianxx..

yeppx.. on the same day summore i fell down, landed on my knees lehx.. now my right knee got thiis huge blue black.. hehe.. but it looks more pinkiish.. but the swelling is real biig n obvious. :'(..

haiis.. den guess wad? today AGAIN! in the morn, was real tiired and was abit late sh owas doiing my haiir while walking, was sho tired tt i din c tt e door was open! walked right into the middle of the door.. sho painful.. hit the whole of the left side of my face! even the eye! ouch..

yepxx.. sho now i got a horrid cut on my finger, a biig bruise on my right knee, and part of the left side of my face is going to haf a blue black tml.. sigh.. actually, its starting to get a greyish colour now.. so ugly.. hahas.. tell pple tt sumone punch mi.. lol..

yeppx.. mus pray tt god will be wiif mii and giif mi wisdom in both my tests tml, cant afford to do badly in any more subjects! ;)

---pls giif mii wiisdom lord--- Dont write me off just yet,9:34 PM got hme frm skool at abt 3p.m. yeppx.. agaiin felt shoo tiired. fell asleep on the bus hme agaiin. uh huh.. my tiie was abit loose today and it fell of wen i boarded the bus! my gosh.. i din even realized it until abt half an hr later my dad smsed mi and told mi tt it fell off!

hahas. . i was so freaked out, duno wad to do. the bookshop doesnt giif out spares anymore and the general office alsho meii you.. haiis.. was sho scared kena siiaxx.. lucky first periiod was PE sho i hurri change first..

hehe.. yeppx.. den yiyi helped mi to tell miiss soh, i din even know. coz we were talking, den she say 'aiya, dun worry lar, i help u tell miss soh'. den later she disappear le. hehe.. but she came back in time fer PE wif a tiie! hehe.. i so love her! lol.. den i got tiie le lorx.. dun niid to be sho malu le.. kekexx..

yeppx.. came hme.. make maggiiie mee, now feel so fulll.. tiis thur got debating comp, am going to watch.. want to join debating siax.. but sec1 juniiors are not allowed to debate, so wads the point? so unfair lorxx.. sympathize those other peeps.. lol...

hmm.. yarxx.. lyk tt lorx.. tml got eng n sci test.. siianx larx.. dun feel lyk studying.. feel shoo tiired.. *yawn*

---giif mii energy god!--- Dont write me off just yet,4:36 PM wow.. sho stressed now.. my maths iishh rely sho damn jiia latt now siaxx.. diie diee.. better buck up.. haiis.. yeppx.. jus did my sci notes. hmm.. hoping tt my biio n chem can pull up my phyics marks ba.. pray pray.. rely mus do well in sci.. coz my maths n chi alreadi gone case le.. i need at least SOMETHING to make mum statisfied.. haiis.. my mum's expectations are so high.. Dont write me off just yet,9:13 PM ahh.. was going to revise for sci wen i realized tt i left all of my science notes and my textbook in skool! !! ohh nooo.. haiis.. howhow how? nvm.. lucky e test iish not tml.. ishh no wed.. phew.. tml study stiill can ba.. Dont write me off just yet,4:54 PM yeppx.. jus got hme lorxx.. sho siianx.. jus now was so tiired, fell asleep on the bus hme. reach the stop also din feel lyk getting off.. sld haf sleep earlier last night.. sigh..

haiis.. thiis term for my progress report i think i din do to well.. cant believe i got a B for maths! mum is going to kill mi.. haiis.. duno wad happened tiis term larxx.. my maths rely went down alot. got back my chii paper too, i did better den the other paper, but onli managed to pull my marks up to about 56.5%. sho my overall sld be C5.. sigh...

dun ohow lehxx.. can dun show mum the paper mahx?? scared siiaxx.. she sure scold lyk hell dex.. sianx.. haiis.. help mi jesus!

---looking for jesus--- Dont write me off just yet,3:18 PM hees.. jus came hme frm my aunt's place. guess wad? i cut my haiir! heehee.. first time i lyked a haircut.. lolx.. i cut my fringe sho now its real short. jus abt 1 inch below my eyebrown or something. mayb i and a half. hehee.. i kinda lyk it.. =) Dont write me off just yet,5:02 PM well.. its another sun morning once agaiin. yeppx.. diin go to church coz mum has a haiir appoiintment or something.. wadever it is.. i dun care.

hmm.. i rely miiss feeliing the presence of god.. i rely miss jus soaking in hiis presence. i jus wana sing and shout to hiis name. wad is happening? i rely miss god.. wad is going wrong? was it something i did?

wad did i do to deserve this? siince the last episode, all ive done was to listen to my parents and obey! u know, i havent been out of thiis freaking hse wiif my frens for the past 3 months! feel lyk im in a freaking cage. wana get out. feel lyk rebeling. dun lyk being good.
arghhh

---miisshh yeww god--- Dont write me off just yet,11:24 AM why do i feel so alone sometimes?
why does it feels lyk the rain aint stopping?
drenched in loneliness
beiing so so alone

it used to be so easy to smile
it still is
but smiling true smiles
are rare..
hardly see them anymore
so tired of those plastic laughs
so tired of smiling untrue smiles

why is it even in the biiggest crowds
im the only one there
why is it even when i smile
its not real
its not true
its jus a mask
onli a mask

hate the fake smiles
hate the fake laughs
hate the fake concern
hate all of those things

dun wana stay in the race anymore
dun wana stay strong anymore
dun wana say im ok
dun wana say that its alright

coz its not alright
its not.. Dont write me off just yet,10:38 PM now lots of pple in our hse. my aunt, huili, grandma, shirong,shiwei, vivian, vina.. unty tiffany uncle stalwart.. ryan n raeann. yeppx.. celebrating sis's burrfdae. yep.. kinda noisy now.. jus thought tt i'll update a lil. uh huh.. mayb will blog later ba.. ciiao Dont write me off just yet,7:24 PM well, today was another cool day. yeppx yeppx.. after skool went to orchard wiif alysa n criispin to buy prezziie for my sis coz today iish her burrfdae. yeppx.. coz crispiin had to buy a prezziie fer hiis fren and alysa had to buy for her bro.. lolx.. sho jus niice.

yepp.. had fun larxx.. went to taka look here look there, den bought 'something' fer sis, but cant write here or else later she see. heehee.. yep yepp.. den alysa say wana go PS but i din wan to go coz duno hwo to go hme frm there mahxx..

actually was going to take taxi den dey drop mi at ACSB den i can take bus hme. but den got so many complications, in the end i went to PS wiif dem.. lolx.. we walk aroudn lorxx.. den alysa bought a shirt and we went hme lorxx..

lolx.. felt so bad.. alysa and crispin pay so many things for mii coz i no money lexx.. wahaha.. actually on the way to orchard i wanted to take bus, but alysa dun wan, wanted to take taxi. i told her i dun haf no money, bt she say tt she'll pay.

yeppx.. den later i borrow sum $$ frm crispiin.. and alysa bought fiishball for mii.. hehex.. den crispin also pay fer my taxi hme.. feel kinda bad.. heehee.. nvm.. christmas i'll buy hiim a present.. lolx.. alysa burrfdae i also will.. hahas.. next time will return him e money bahxx.. cannot lyk tt let dem pay all mahxx.

hahas.. but had fun larxx.. was sooo cool. yep.. havent had fun fer such a long tiime. kinda relaxing to jus be able to relax and jus crap around.. yep yep.. thank god, i rely needed tiis rest. uh huh..

wellx.. later am going out wiif mii family to celebrate sis's burrfdae.. yea.. kinda feel soo tired now after tiis long day. ohh well.. hahas.. im so bad.. i pretended tt i forgot her burrfdae. she said to mi 'y today got nth to say to mii arhxx?' i jus say "wad thing to say?" lolx.. den she jus kept quiet..

yep yep.. sho thankiie god fer letting mii be able to relax fer these two days.. rely needed it. haiis.. going strong.. everything's gona be fine yea? hope so. but god said tt it wld be. so it will be.

---thanks lord--- Dont write me off just yet,5:14 PM today was a craziie day. but kiinda fun i guess. hahas.. hanged out a lot wiif cherry n alysa. ohh. yea, and joy too, but she din rely say much.. hahas.. e three of us did most of e talking, and laughin.. but hahas..

after skool cherry n i was suppose to go to macs fer lunch, den she suggested tt we called joy sho we called her.. lolx.. on our way downstairs we met alysa sho we asked her to cum too lorxx.. sho she came too.. hahas.. in the end duno wad happen..

hahas.. sho many things happened, instead of goign to macs, we tookaway french friies and ate dem in black canyon while cherry n alysa ate e stuff there.. lolx.. and we called crispin ta cum too.. hahas.. think he and alysa are auite good frens now, since they met on e cluster arts festival.

lolx.. sho laughed alot larxx there.. jus kept talking and talking, but about 65% of the time we were all laughing.. dun even noe y i was laughing so much, i jus was.. heehee.. yea.. i havent laughed so much in such a long time. guess it was kinda good for miiex. heehee.. next wk we're going... lolx.. next wk den i'll blog it down.. =p

yepxx.. den alysa insisted tt we took a taxi back to skool coz it was drizzling and coz we were getting late. lolx.. we got a white cab! sho niice to sit in.. yeppx.. reached skool jus in time for eldds, yepxx.. sho tanya din scold us. it was kinda boring larxx.. din do much today.. heehee.. were doinng sum acting stuff but e 3 of us (mii, alysa n cherry) din rely pay attention.. jus sat aroudn drawing n talking.. hehe.. n listening to stasha's ipod..

yeppx.. hopefully tml will be jus as relaxed as today.. i rely need it.. but haf lyk triple maths tml.. hoping to be able to get pass it. mus pray n ask god fer guidance and protection!

jus now was looking at sum of my recent fotos taken wiif sum frens.. frm various groups.. den saw sum pics taken in year 2002 n 2003, sigh.. i rely miiss those days.. all the fun n laughter.. n now? im probably nv going to see dem again.. i rely miiss dem..

hey guys? u guys are real beautiful.. i love u sho much! sorriexx coz its prob going to be hard trying to see u agaiin.. but pls know tt u'll always be in my heart and my mind.. love you always.. do keep in touch.. i love you.. =)

---mayb things will get better--- Dont write me off just yet,8:10 PM haiis.. i got caught in a biig biig raiin jus now on the way hme. fell asleep on the bus, when i opened mii eyes i jus reached e stop onlii.. den got a call frm aunty gwen sho talk to her while i walked under the shelter.. wen put down the fone le had to go out frm the shelter le.. coz had to cross road..

stupid pedestian crossing.. waited for so long then the green man come out.. got so wet.. totally wet lorx.. water dripped everywhere kx.. my hair, my face and most of all my UNIFORM.. my goodness.. was so uncomfortable.. water jus drip n drip.. my file n my books all got wet also lorx.. lucky there wasnt too many people around coz my uniform was rely soaked lorx.. wah lau..

came back hme le.. hanged up mii uniform to dry.. think its still drying ba.. outsiide its still storming.. inside? still a stormy weather here..

---wishing tt e rainbow wld come--- Dont write me off just yet,3:30 PM the niightmare came truee.. wiish i had something niice to put here, but i dun.. wads going to happen next? i dun know. everythiing seems lyk a horriible dream now.. but its real.. wad am i going to do?

---neediing god--- Dont write me off just yet,10:48 PM wow.. actually din use the comp yest! tts a kind of record for mii! lolx.. one day w/o e comp! yep.. bout yest? was an ok kinda day i guess. celebrated mum's burrfdae, tt was ok. hmm.. but all i haf to say iish tt im thankful tt i lived through another sunday.

yep.. am now at my aunts place.. duno y, mum told us to cum here after skool.. hmm.. she's coming to pick us up later.. wonder why? why nv jus go hme nehxx? weird siiax...

oh wellxx.. better not blogg to much le.. after tt couzz scold.. alwaes lyk tt de.. haiis.. today maths test? still ok lar, i tink sld be able to pass at least. =)

---draiined..but still smiliing--- Dont write me off just yet,5:39 PM hmmz.. u know.. sometimes, life is jus so.. hmm.. i duno really, jus weird i guess. its sho crazy when life jus brings u up to the highest point, the peak in fact, den jus drops u and lets u fall. u jus fall n fall, not knowing wen its all going to end.

its stupid how loneliness is unavoidable. i hate it. y do we haf to be so lonely sometimes? wen it feels lyk ur all alone n tt no one cares anymore. even thou its not true at all. y is it even thou deep in my heart i know tt its not true, but at that time, i still believe it. y is it so hard to even hold on to wad u strongly believe in wen ur all alone?

y is it wen u feel that nobody's there, you'll jus feel lyk giving up and throwing everything away. lyk there isnt a point anymore. y is it that we feel all these things? even thou they're not true at all. y is it so hard to say one thing and do it. y do i always do the opposite? y do i make up my mind to try nv to be angry but yet get so touchy and irritable so often? y is it everytime i decide to be strong, something pulls mi down again?

its so irritating.. and time consuming.. and so hurtful.. Dont write me off just yet,4:14 PM haiis.. as expected .. not many peeps are online.. hmm.. actually haf quite alot lar.. but nobody tt i'd normally talk to de.. siianz.. i feel sho lonely now. real real lonely.. feel sho alone.. Dont write me off just yet,8:35 PM u know wad? sometimes the friends that we value the most can just hurt us so easily when they dont even mean it. it really amazes me. how can i get hurt when she meant well. when the reason she told me was because she wanted me to know. in a way, i dont want to know. but on the other hand, if i found out, i'd feel hurt again. so i guess its just as well? Dont write me off just yet,5:21 PM woah.. im sho tired.. din haf a good night sleep last night.. feel sho sho sleepy.. stupid sis lar.. she said she put her alarm to 5:50(my alarm ish normally at 5:45), and do you know wad time it rang?? FIVE A.M! crazy lor.. haii mi wake up, tot tt it was 5:50.. den looked at the clock it was actually 5! was so angry.. but it got worse k.. tt kuku gerl mus haf click the snooze button lorz.. coz it kept ringing EVERY TEN MINS!!

my gosh.. was so pissed off.. everytime i dropped back off to sleep, her alarm rang again! n everyone knows tt im such a light sleeper.. sianz man.. today in skool was so draiined out.. n i still am.. fell asleep in the bus on the way hme.. Zzzzzz

yep.. its fri again.. tt means nobody ish gona be online to chat wif mii tonight, cuz im one of the onli pathetic pple who are actually at hme on fri night.. how pathetic.. haiis.. had a long long day.. i've got a feeling its gona be a long long night too...

---needing strength from god--- Dont write me off just yet,3:16 PM hahas.. woo hoo.. i actually managed to start of n finish up tt 600 word essay in jus 1 and a half hrs! hehe.. im quite happiie about the results rely. rely lyk it sho much! lolx.. but i guess i wrote too much, exceeded the word limit by over a hundred words.. hehe.. soriiez.. sho not my fault manz.. wen inspiration flows.. all i can do is to write it down! hehe... i love writing.. its so beautiful. =)

---thanking god--- Dont write me off just yet,9:56 PM hehe.. today din haf eldds. sho im hme early. =) yep. today was a bit nottiie.. lolx.. hazirrah said tt she wanted to find her bro again and asked mi to accompanie her, hehe.. so i did.. yep yep.. coz i figured since dun haf eldds sho jus go for fun lorz.. lolx

yep.. sho we arrived at ngee ann poly, was kinda weird. pple kept staring at us, and whispering.. hahas.. but hazirah din know coz most of them were whispering in chinese, lolx.. but dey whisper till damn loud sia.. lolx.. duno talkin about wad sec1 gerls frm st margs.. lolx.. sho i know its us le lor.. yep yep.. ate lunch over there.. waited fer her bro. den jus hanged around.

hmm.. yest piano lessons were ok i guess. hahas.. was actually quite fun.. hehe.. quite enjoyed it but haf to rely practice my scales! yepz.. rely need to brush up alot. hehe..

hmm.. realized tt i was too harsh. had a long talk wif god last night. yep.. reminded myself tt wad ever happenes, god let it happen, and tt its gona be ok.. yyea.. tryin to continue sticking on to wad i believe in and not letting anything sway mi. hmm.. trusting in god.. trusting.. cant believe i nearly let go of hiim again.. gosh.. my wiill power mus be real real low.. oh well.. mus work harder, dun let satan put mii down anymore!

lolx.. yea.. eating m&ms now.. lolx.. sho tasty.. yum.. =)

---faiith to the test--- Dont write me off just yet,4:57 PM piano teacher coming soon! at about 8p.m! woo... tiis wld be my first piano lesson in lyk.. 2 and a half years?? ohh noooooo.. sho scared tt i'll stuff up.. crappiies.. y din i practice more?? hahas.. now can onli pray pray pray.. pls dun let mi stuff up..

---be wif mi jesus!--- Dont write me off just yet,7:09 PM eeekkkk! my gosh! i onli jus rmb! my piano teacher is back! oh gosh! she's coming tonight! how cld i haf forgotten???? my gosh.. hahas.. am kinda excited.. but sho scared! sho long nv haf lessons le.. shiitty shiity.. y now den remember??? Dont write me off just yet,3:01 PM wahaha.. changed my blogskin again! lolx.. actually yest found thiis rely beautiful blogskin was shoooo nice! my goodness.. i did it all up, it looked sho pretty. haiis.. den realized tt e html code got prob.. no matter how hard i try also cannot insert e tagboard in the right place! sho shiity.. ask mel to help mi he alsho say cannot.. *sigh*..

lolx.. i looked at over 700 blogskins, yest n today combined.. sho finally choose tiis one. hahas.. now looking at it feel abit bu xi guan but i tink its quite niice bah.. lol.. but my taggie board now the colour got problem.. sianz.. duno ish wad.. and sum parts also guaii guaii de.. lolx.. damn sianz.. feel so tired of fixing everything up.. lol..

hehe.. den called n wanted to ask ty how to do sum parts.. but he said tt he was doing test.. whoops.. lolx.. anywaes.. hehe.. today eat until beri happiie.. hehe.. went to eat KFC wif my sis fer lunch hehe.. ate sho much.. sho full siiax.. den we still bought cotton candy and sweets! hehe.. all e sweet sweet stuff.. im going to grow sho fat! lolx...

hahas.. anywae... gona let sis use e comp le.. b back laters..

---lalala--- Dont write me off just yet,2:24 AM had a long day today. went to watch bewitched wif mi family. was ok lar, funii i guss but not tt great. but it was enjoyble.

yep ye.. watched the NDP jus now. hahas.. cldnt spot eden or shawn or xiao ting.. lolx.. in fact, cldnt see any of the performer's faces.. lol.. yep yep.

hmm.. recieved sum bad news today.. abit worried fer tt gerl. duno wad's wrong.. i seriously thought tt she changed fer the better! but i guess tis kinda proves mi wrong.. hmm.. oh well, i rely duno how to communicate wif her though. jus wana tell her tt i still love her and care fer her.. hmm.. duno how neh.. oh well.. no choice, onli can pray fer her.. *sigh*

haiis.. it has been so crazy these few months. so many thins had happened.. sumtimes i jus wish i could jus close my eyes and hope tt everything wld be alright wen i open them again.. things has rely been so so crazy.. u know.. its so weird. a fren once told mii tt out of our lil 'clique' in skool, i was one of the so called 'steadist' person.. din rely know wad she meant till she elaborated.

hmm.. she said tt i was the one who always stayed 'calm' no matter wad happened. hahas.. duno where she got thiis from, but she said tt i was tactful but knew how to tell someone off wen they needed it.. haiis.. man.. these pple rely haf got the wrong impression.. she somemore say tt i was always the person who stayed unaffected by wad everyone else was doing and always stayed happy. man.. is she so so wrong..

mii?? the strong one? the sensible one?? u got to be kidding.. tts wen i realized tt im such a fake in skool. been running away frm lots of things.. in skool, i jus smile alot, and jus erased all that was happening away.. unaffected by wad is going on? gosh.. din realized tt tt was wad they all saw me as..

well.. i can tell u, i dun feel lyk any of the things tt she described mi as. haiis.. i jus feel so hopeless now. these few months.. so many times i jus felt lyk crying n crying . i jus want to cry. but i nv did. sometimes i jus want to dissapear into the darkness.. fade away into the shadows.. its so hard somtimes. sometimes i even question god, i asked him. god? are u listening? y isnt anything happening? i've fasted, i 've prayed for many many days.. but nothing good seems to be happening, in fact, it seems to get worse n worse. are u listening to mi???

i jus feel so weary.. but im still clinging on. know tt its wrong to question god. i know that he's there. i know tt its all in his plan, but how long more do i haf to wait? i rely need him to talk to mi. y cant i hear u god?y cant i feel u anymore? i rely need a touch from god, i rely need u to speak to mi lord.. i need you..

---needing a touch from god--- Dont write me off just yet,9:36 PM woah.. im still so tired.. lolx.. jus now wen sis came hme i let her use e comp.. den went to read.. hmm.. din know, read read read.. read until i dropped of to sleep.. lolx.. onli woke up abt 5:30p.m, dun even know wad time i fell asleep.

yup yup.. den went to bathe.. my goodness, the cold water hit my face and i actually jumped.. lolx.. funii thing was, it onli woke mi up for tt few seconds den i felt drowsy again.. guess im kinda tired..

hehe.. im sho naughty. mummiie ask mi to read the chinese newspapers tt she bought for mi to improve my chinese but hehe.. i havent touched dem yet.. mayb later bah.. as u can see, IM STILL VERY TIRED.. lolx..

hahas.. i think mayb i might drop off the lala land again bah.. in abt 15 mins.. hehe.. catch u later peeps.. buaiis

---love you my darling jesus--- Dont write me off just yet,5:53 PM hahas.. had a moderate day i guess. e recollection was SO freaky.. my gosh, lolx.. was so freaked out up there.. hahas.. lucky it ended quickly cuz i was jus about to DIIE up there.. lolx.. had fun celebrating national day in skool, hahas.. but was kinda boring.. onli lyked e interskool rap n dance competition, lolx.. cooke house was so cool! lolx.. rely lyked their performance.. lolx.. tolley(my hse)? hahas.. we came last, no surprises there! hehe.. i kinda lyked fearon's one too, but cldnt hear e rap..

haiis.. sho poor thing today.. kena played out by cherry! she say wanted to go to king albert park to eat lunch together, den wen i reach le she say tt she cannot go le! wah lau.. haii me wait for her so long neh.. den in the end i nv eat.. sho jus come home lor.. hmm.. after finish blogging im goin to cook maggiie mee le.. hungry..

yea.. hmm.. oh ya! took neoprint wif sis yest.. hahas.. looks nice, i lyk tt one man! hehe.. n on sat took neoprint wif her, vivian n vina too.. lolx.. wasted lots of money.. hehe.. but loks so adorable. first time vivian n vina taking neoprint.. lolx.. vivan keep gazing at it, hahas.. treated it lyk a jewl. hahas.. she's so cute..

hmm.. going to cook mii lunch now. blog agaiin later.. ciiao! Dont write me off just yet,11:51 AM wow.. its 9:30a.m and im actually awake! hahas.. went to bed real late last night, about 1:30a.m ba.. din rely sleep well, no thanks to mel n ty! those two kukus.. disturb mii at night.. stupid ty, miss call mi i think wad.. 3 times at about 2 plus.. i tink 2:10 bah.. crazy de.. den after tt melvin call! duno where the heck they were, so late in the night(early in e morn) still havent go hme.. siao de.. heard tt hamz also wif them.. crazy pple.. go hme lar.. cum n disturb mii in my sleep, duno how to disturb other pple mah??

hahas.. talk talk talk, den put down le.. later he sms mi again.. sianz sia, i tink my sms going to explode le.. yest sms-ed alot.. wif thejal, cherry,hahas.. den at night wif tt crazy idoit.. lolx.. lucky after tt i fell back asleep and nv hear his call! lolx.. or else i'll be ready to kill pple le.. hehe.. lucky.. haiis.. den in the morn 8 plus.. another call.. but tis time frm peace.. lolx.. soooo tired..

hahas.. going fer karaoke wif beryl later. cuz she's going back to japan next week so jus wanted to meet up. lolx.. i din even know tt she was back till mum told mi! lolx.. looking forwards ta see her, she stay in jap so long, everytime she cum back also nv see her. hahas.. lyk sum celebrity lyk tt.. lolx.. sho hard to see!

hmmz.. ya.. feel so sianz now.. missin YE peeps.. hahas.. no matter how kuku those guys can get, i still miss dem! lolx.. yea. miss faiith and esther too! hmm.. havent seen dem fer 2 wks le.. sianz.. desiree?? havent seen her fer almost a month le! miss her shooo much..

haiis.. i feel so tired.. jus so tired..i dont want to smile anymore.. jus hate insincere smiles.. sometimes i jus wana cry.. jus want to cry n cry n cry.. but i cant.. haf to hold back all my tears.. *ouch*.. tt kinda hurts..

---times of testing--- Dont write me off just yet,9:38 AM ended early again today, at 1:15, but den got e stupid house meeting so in the end finished at 2p.m. yea.. den mum n dad came to pick mi n sis up coz we were fetching grandma to e hospital for check up coz she painted e other day. nearly scared me to death.

yepz.. national day is coming! hahas.. im so nervous for mon! got e freaking recollection thingy! hahas.. so so nervous! scared tt i'll get stage fright! =p

yea.. so so tired today. feel lyk sleeping but dun rely wan to.. hehe.. yea. so bored too. haf lots n lots of hw cuz of e 2 days national day break. so stupid de, dey call it a BREAK but yet dey dun let us rest! craziie pple.. lolx..

yea.. im so bored.. tml am going to hmm.. i dun even know where.. i tink going to bugis juction wif sis, mum, vivian, vina and their mum. yep yep.. hmm.. tryin not to tink abt wad e others are going to do tml.. haiis.. yea.. but it sld be fun i guess.. wif vivian n vina, hahas.. those two lil cutiies can ALWAYS wake mi up! lolx.. even though dey're quite a handful sometimes, sho adorable! lolx..

yea.. sho jus doing now.. chattin wif den den[eden], and alex.. sianz sia..

---waiting for a breakthrough--- Dont write me off just yet,7:54 PM haiis.. im so draiined out! today eldds ended real late, 5:45. dad got SO black face jus cuz he waited fer me for 15mins.. tt impatient man.. cant even wait fer a lil while.. so embarasing, he scold mi in front of everyone somemore, so ma lu.. lyk its my fault tt we ended late lyk tt.. :@

hmm.. e performance is on Mon! hahas.. im so so nervous! think about it also feel so scared.. lolx.. mus shout alone summore.. hahas.. duno whether can tell miss yeo tt i dun wan to do anymore! hahas.. scared is scared lar.. but sld be fun.. BUT.. in front of skool sia, hahas.. thinking back, last time anne of green gables the crowd was even bigger lor and the pple so important lehz.. now onli students.. hmm.. hahas.. think im scared cuz i actually KNOW those pple.. lolx..

hahas.. yea. hmmz.. tis month got sho many pples burrfdae.. 3 peeps frm my class.. but cant rmb who, onli rmb t one of them is triciia.. hmm.. duno wad to get for her. hmm.. next sun is mum's burrfdae, next next wk will be sis's burffdae, den the wk after tt is faiith's b'dae! hahas.. so many pples.. im going to be so so broke! lolx..

hmm.. yea.. so so tired.. but nobody online lehz.. nobody to talk to. hahas.. onli chattin wif jun hao now, havent talked to him in some time rely. hahas.. ever since i left regent nv rely talk to him much. lolx.. but tink tt mayb i'll go back to bpps wif him and xiao shi on teacher's day. yep yep.

hmm.. feel so sianz.. hahas.. but thurdays are my rest day! lolx.. so today im not doing any work.. lolx.. i no i no.. im naughty.. but dun haf much workk, tml den do alsho wun diie de.. hehe..

---lalalalala.ur so awesome lord--- Dont write me off just yet,7:53 PM jus got hme not long ago. dead dead tired.. today skool ended early, abt 1:45p.m.. den went to macs wif lizziie, triciia n stasha. yea.. jus eat lunch.. den had ice-cream!=) den came straight hme..

haf lots of hw today.. hahas.. but cant be bothered to do! hehe.. im gettin so nottiie now a days.. but ive stopped sms-ing in class le, fer quite a long time.lolx.. getting nottiier but also more guaii at the same time, sho contradicting.

hmm.. was very distracted in class today. duno why lar, but now we're not having physics anymore! wooo hoo! hahas.. not tt i dun lyk miss tan, she's so nice! but physics is SO boring, and so ish she.. ;) hahas.. now back to mr low, and this semester we're going to do chem. hahas.. laughed alot in sci today, had tis huge debate about dinosaurs and evolution. lolx.. mainly by leanne n mr low, wif added points by me.. lolx.. coz we were talkin abt the religion(chriatianity) versus the scientists belief in evolution. hahas.. it was a serious and earnest debate, but hilariously funni.. lolx.. yea.. cuz mr low ish christian too, so had so many complications, lolx.. but it has been a long time since i've enjoyed science, which is weird cuz its my fav. subject!=)

today in skool. hmm.. duno y. hahas.. suddenly tot of YE.. suddenly rely rely missed e peeps over there! *sniff* miss.. being wif them so so much.. haiis..

yea.. so very very tired today. tml still haf to stay back for eldds. think about it actually feel abit sianz, but hiya.. muz stay committed to my cca. yep yep, as for the stuff that has been bothering mi, jus tryin to take it all lightly and not to think about it. hmm.. no, im not running away or trying to hide from it. im jus leaving it all to jesus, tt doesnt mean tt i dun care anymore. jus means tt i'll pray about it earnestly, and jus trust in him totally. cuz as he had said, 'through christ, nothing is impossible' and i choose to believe it.

---perfect peace found--- Dont write me off just yet,4:11 PM woah.. im finally on the comp! so wasted, even thou came hme early today, comp had a bit of prob, mus wait til dad come hme den he fix.. lolx.. im so useless, cant fixed the freaking thing. =p

hahas.. today was an 'ok' sorta day. hahas.. had the cha cha exam! lolx.. was scary manz.. but was way way cool.. lolx.. e examiner said tt lizziie and i had a hint of 'latin' in our dancing, lolx.. we already knew tt cuz ish lizzie teach mii one de mah.. lolx.. but it was SO FUN! hahas.. but wen we danced as a class, i forgot so many things, hahas.. lucky nobody noticed.. ;)

hmm.. yea. today was a morderate kinda day.. hahas.. but mii, cherry, tia, grace, lizzie n some others got our names written down by bahar(monitress) for eating sweets in class. lol.. coz miss chan wasnt at skool today(yea!) so we had 2 free periods.. hehehe.. hmm.. 2 periods gave me lots of time to think(AGAIN).. lolx.. talked to leanne for abit too. yea.. realized tt ever since i actually gave god a real thought, and actually had a relationship wif him, the devil has been attacking me non stop, battles after battles. and it says so in the bible too, we will be fighting battles after battles. hmm.. yes, i rely get so weary sometimes, but ultimately, i know tt we've won the war! hahas.. is tt awesome of wad man?

lolx.. hmm.. feelin down sometimes.. i've always had these lil 'problems' and it feels lyk nothign could hurt more. but now i realized tt those were NOTHING. but tis year, ive actually rely know wad its lyk. wad its lyk to be hurt, to feel so so lost.. to feel lyk i've been left all alone. to be provoked wen im down, to feel lyk someone has let me down.. now i rely know how it feels lyk. tts y im so glad tt i have jesus. he put it in my heart, to forgive and forget. he comforted me, restored my soul. yea.. and though all these things are happening around me?

hmm.. ty is right, y am i bothered? y? coz god is there, he's listening to me! mayb it jus isnt the right time, mayb he's jus waiting for the time to take action, and mayb onli den will it be fruitful. =) hmm.. i was thinking, mayb this is also a test of my faith. mayb he's trying to see, w/o the others, will i still be able to stand up straight and tall? or is my faith based too much on others faith? tt wen dey're not here, i'll fall? yea.. well, i accept it, cuz i know its all part of his perfect plan..

he's perfect.
---sure tt all of my days are crafted in to his plan--- Dont write me off just yet,9:29 PM hmm.. talkin to ty on msn.. he told me lots of things tt made me think again. tink he knows about everything, but he doesnt seem to wan to say wad exactly he knows.. hmm

he kinda surprised me, jus suddenly asked mi ' why are yo uso troubled by what is happening around you?' i was kinda surprised.. din rely no wad to ans. he said tt god gave him a vision, but he din wan to tell mii wad it was abt either..[*bish*] hmm.. yea, lyk i said, he said lots of things tt made mi think alot.. some stuff was lyk.. god is listening to mi, so keep on talkin to him.. and lengthen my quiet time, cuz i have the time to do more, but i dun rely wan to write it down here..

hmm.. wad else? dun let worldly things affect mii.. hmm.. and he told me tt sumtimes wen i dun feel god, it might be there are thing in myheart and mind that prevents mii from feeling him. hmm.. lots more but dun rely wan to put it here.. but i tink.. wad was e last thing? think he said 'tell god everything'. hmm.. tt kinda helped, it rely confirmed wad i was already feelin. hmm.. yea.. hahas.. thanks bro.

---jesus uses his instruments well--- Dont write me off just yet,7:48 PM woah.. im finally hme.. had a real stressful day at skool today.. im under so much stress! IH test was ok i guess.. but at the same time, dun feel too good about it. my gosh.. i failed mii chi test.. cant believe it.. first time i failed anything.. hey.. i know tt i din no much on the test, but i was hoping to at least scrap through.. diie le.. dun dare to tell mum..

so so stressful today.. 5 periods wif mdam yow.. as usual, got scolded so many times, rely dun no wads her problem.. she tinks tt we all haf a prob, we dont.. hahas.. actually yea, we DO have a problem. a common one in fact, our problem is HER. lolx.. im mean, but its true.. cant stand it, redo the thingy so many times ne.. i hate mondays.. besides monday blues, still have to cope seeing her for 5 periods.. duno how i lived through tis day.

got back my maths common test today.. onli got about 68.8%.. not good not good.. rely feeling the stress now.. n i heard frm miss tan tt half the class failed the physics test.. i cant afford to keep failing! gosh.. and now dere's tt stupid prob.. i dun need that, i rely do NOT need that now, not at thiis point of time you know?? its distracting me, so so much.. need jesus.. need his help..

oh gosh.. was thinking alot today, tink tink tink.. hmm.. mayb wad ty once said to me was true, mayb i DO think too much. mayb too much for my own good.. yea.. but i was thinking.. is tis a test of my faith? is it tryin to see if my faiith is based on others belief and not my own? is it a test to see whether without backup, my faith still stays de same? cuz if it is, im SO going to take up that challenge. its rely going to be so so hard.. but do i have a choice? hmm.. dun even haf to think to answer tt, the ans is jus a flat no.. jus haf to presevere..

---please strengthen mii lord--- Dont write me off just yet,6:07 PM