dun critizie mi
dun yell in my ear
dun scream at mi
arent i still here?
stop rebuking mi
ive done no wrong
stop glaring at mi
tis has gone on fer too long
stop pressuring mi
i cant breathe
stop threatening mi
ive had enough
ur closing mi up
i dun haf space
ur locking mi in
i want to get out
i cant breathe
i cant take it no more
ur making mi smaller
ur breaking mi down
i want to break out
i want to fly
i tell the truth
bt u say i lie
im fallin to pieces
i cant get out
dun be too harsh on mi
coz im begining to doubt..


pissin off.. pressured... being held back.. stressed..

Dont write me off just yet,8:19 PM hmm.. read faith's blog juz now. found tt there was lots of meaning in wad she said, many of us are juz wearing a mask, prentending to smile and say tt everything is alright, even thou inside we;re hurtin so so much. bt yet god sees everything, and he wants to love us, wants to confort us. its juz a matter of whether we want to let him love us or not. hmm.. in her blog, she wrote, "do you?" i rely i want to say, i do.. Dont write me off just yet,5:38 PM hmm.. skool was so boring today.. had maths lecture. lolx. bt was nottie today, sms-ed during class. to ty,esther n mel. hehe. den wen mrs tey came ta teach i was so scared tt she wld find out, she sho fierce, kena caught sure die de. den summore mrs tan(principle) was during rounds tis morning, saw her walk past e classroom, lucjy wasnt sms-ing wen she passed.. phew.. lolx. sho sianz lar.. hehe.. bt now gona play com first, play until happie happie den go study later. hehe.. Dont write me off just yet,3:57 PM hmm.. been thinkin fer abit.. realized tt im generally happie.. n e onli reason im happie ish coz i got e lord wif mi n tt he comforts mi. but den.. also realized tt i havent fully let go off all my hurts, all my burdens. im happie, yea.. but sumtimes all of e sudden, these lil things tt happen(or if i suddenly rmb dem) would rely pierce my heart. hmm.. den today at skool, i unknowningly tot abt one of e "things" tt happened, it juz suddenly came to my mind before i cld stop it. juz tinkin abt it was enuf to make my heart beat accelerate a lil faster, tru, onli a little faster, bt i was enuf to make mi gasp and feel uneasy fer a while. tried to calm down n juz slowly breathe in n out bt tt feelin wldnt go away.. it felt so horrible.. lyk i cldnt breathe, onli gasp quietly(coz was in a lecture), it was painful, it rely was. dun no y, tot i was ok, tot tt everything was fine now, bt it was onli today wen i realized tt even thou i feel fine, e hurt is still in my heart, lyk a lil cut, if untouched its fine, bt wen meddled wif it wld hurt. easy to laugh abt it, bt takes a long time to heal, a long time fer e scar to go away..

dun speak to mi
dun knock on my door
dun call mi
dun ask mi to play bball.
dun look in my eye.. i may not want to look away again..
dun touch mi... i may jump up in surprise..
dun talk to mi.. i may nv shut up..
dun ask mi wads wrong.. i wun answer
dun joke wif mi.. i'll b happie.. but onli fer a while..
dun play wif mi i'll miss it wen u stop
dun hug mi.. i may nv wan to let go..

wan to speak to you.. yet dun dare to.

Dont write me off just yet,6:01 PM hehe.. muz haf been too guai juz now, guai till cannot stand it. in e end nb study. =p hehe.. instead played NEOPETS, lolx. n talked to mel,esther n ty. hehe.. k lar.. juz check my frenster den rely rely go n study le.. today so guai, cannot spoil everything. =d Dont write me off just yet,4:51 PM came hme frm skool le.. sho sianz.. today i sho guai, came hme straight frm skool. packed everything up, hehe. im sho guai. lolx.. god ish so good.. e other day wen sarah,i and olivia cldnt save e IH project, was freakin out so so bad.. bt den its tru lor, god nv forsakes, coz mrs tey postphoned e deadline to fri! wooo hooo! praise e lord! =d hehe. god is so good. anywae, goin to revise wad i learnt today. hehe.. im so guai today..=d Dont write me off just yet,3:42 PM woah.. juz had a long long nite.. revising and so.. hmm.. hope no smss gal is reading tis, bt im rely not tt glad to b back at skool. e workload is bad enuf bt sumhow i juz dun feel lyk facing e gals there.. hmm.. dun no y but i feel lyk i dun haf any real frens there, lyk everyone's there fer you to talk n laugh wif bt dey wun b there wen u need dem, dey wun stand by u or listen to u, dey'll all juz run away.. n it kinda hurts.. tt now it juz feels lyk dey're all mere frens, nt e type tt will even care if anything happens to u. sure, dey'll say, "are you alright? u ok?" bt do dey rely care? wld dey feel troubled fer you(even thou i dun wan dem to feel troubed fer mi)? i dun tink so. coz normal frens normally dun feel tt fer pple. hmm.. mayb tts y i dun look fw to skool.. i miss e YE pple sho much.. i rely trust dem, hmm.. i duno. sumtimes i even think tt i wld trust one or two of dem wif my life, coz i believe in dem. yea.. miss dem shoooo much! Dont write me off just yet,6:22 AM hmm.. kinda doin work now. bt chattin wif hamz n mel wif sumtime. getting so sick of tis maths project. nv got to tell lizzie tt i wanted her to do sum of e workload too. juz cldnt, feel so pai seh. hmm. duno wad to do.. try to tell her tml tt we haf to do e comparison, conclusion and assumptions together i guess, coz i;ve nearly finisehd everything else. hmm.. dun even no y im doin tis. bt anywae, i'll be gettin e mark so mite as well do it well. its juz tt she will get e mark as well, n she didnt even do half e work.. Dont write me off just yet,5:11 AM hahas. juz came back frm skool. wah..sho many things to do today. lolx.. was sho boring in skool today. sms-ed in maths n sci class today but was beri scared kena caught, lolx. but wrote a song in eng. bt tis one rely not sure abt it..

Only You
only you lord,
only you,
only you lord,
only you,
only you.

only you lord,
can take away pain,
only you lord,
im back in the game,
only you lord,
my hurts fade away,
only you lord,
coz now im changed!

you hold me tight,
you hold me close,
you siad that everything was alright,
and now,
i cant stop falling in love with you,
i cant stop falling in love with you.
[repeat]

hehe, didnt expect eng class to b sho boring! ^^
Dont write me off just yet,12:14 AM wooo.. rely rely stressed now.. suppose to hand in IH group project tml but none of us in my group can manage to save it! there's nothign we can do now.. onli can pray and trust god to provide.. and rmb-ing and trusting.. tt "god nv forsakes". have faith.. Dont write me off just yet,9:50 PM wahh... stress.. so so stress.. tryin to do e freakin maths assignment and juz ended up feelin so so stressed out.. sumtimes juz feel lyk smashing up e com.. i mean.. come on.. tis is suppose to be PAIR WORK, how cum im e one ending up doin all e work? yea yea.. she BUSY, lyk im not.. now, i even end up helpin her in her hol assignments.. lyk its MY fault tt she cldnt finish it on time, lyk IM not busy too! arghh.. juz coz i help her sometimes doesnt mean she can manipulate mi lyk tt.. is onli 'bu hao yi si' to say tt i dun wan to help her lor.. haiisx..

anywaes.. talkin ta esther n melvin.. hmm.. talkin ta dem make mi feel betta.. laugh alot.yea.. tts y stopped work fer tonight.. juz bloggin, chat a lil while den goin to do QT fer a while, relac abit. Dont write me off just yet,9:08 PM hmm.. juz came back frm skool.. first day.. alreadi feel sho stressed le.. summroe got major project due on fri.. sianz.. hmm.. "stoned out" in sci class today, but good good thing happened! suddenly got inspiration fer a song while zoning out! heh..

one body united,
all with one voice,
one desire,
just to worship you.

one people undivided,
all we want to do,
is just to worship you.

i give my life to you, o'lord,
i give my whole life to you,
let go off all of my pains,
all hurts and all chains,
i surrender to you.

coz lord,
you picked mi up wen im down,
wiped my tears, turn mi around,
showed mi the new path of light.

i walk in the light now o'lord,
you have changed mi, im renewed,
all coz of ur grace and ur glory.

[repeat]

coz lord,
you picked mi up wen im down,
wiped my tears, turn mi around,
showed mi the new path of light.

i walk in the light now o'lord,
you have changed mi, im renewed,
all coz of ur grace and ur glory.

i give my life to you, o'lord,
i give my whole life to you,
let go off all of my pains,
all hurts and all chains,
i surrender to you.

i surrender to you..
to you..

hmm.. tink its ok fer a first draft.. bt front part abit weirdish.. hmm.. work on it.. Dont write me off just yet,4:57 PM hmm.. juz finished dinner.. juz now wen wuz juz doin nothing a few words came to mi.. bt hmm.. mayb ish a startin of a song but cant string anymore words.. hmm.. try it out thou.. put it down here.. hmm..

all i want is u in my life forever,
all i want is u everyday by my side.

hm.. weird rite? cant continue.. got another one.

only u lord.
only u.
u take away all the pain.
u put mi back into e game.
n now i'll worship u.
n onli u.
coz u are tHe OnE.

heh, tis one looks abit longer but hmm.. i tink not. haiisx.. fan nao, cannot continue either one.. muz wait fer "ling gan". lolx. tml go skool.. sianz arhz.. dun wana gooooo! Dont write me off just yet,7:18 PM heh.. everything's ok now i guess. kinda cleared things up wif dad.. heh. finally can use com le, phew.. heh. got mi hp back too n managed ta go to YE yest. heh. hmm.. had a good time i guess, today at church, but hmm.. today church lyk lotsa pple neber cum lyk tt hmm.. desiree duno wad happened to her, neber cum.. wei dong..? hmm.. duno alsho tot he cum back frm phuket le but still neber cum? rina at perth.. ty had to leave early.. hmm.. actually count here count there, onli 2 or 3 pple wasnt here.. but still seemed lyk alot.. hahas.. feel lyk im talkin crap. =p hmmz.. tml goin back to skool.. feel sho sianz lor..haiisx.. muz wear e stupid uniform.. haiisx.. first period ish summore chinese.. muz face e stupid pineapple.. haiisx.. miss e YE pple le. lolx. heh, one more wk, one looooong wk den can c dem again. hmm.. haf to wait lor.. Dont write me off just yet,4:48 PM im struggling.. i rely am. dad says tt he isnt angry at mi anymore but i still have to accept e punishment. im gettin back my fone on sun but im still not allowed to go to YE. i rely dun no wad to do.. i dun mind not gettin back my fone, i juz wana go YE.. but he's so persistant, he juz wun relent. i dun no wad is happening, my relationship wif him as alwaes been so good, why muz he b so harsh to mi? y wun he relent? all i want is juz to go YE tml, i spent e whole day today doin work, pracitcing piano, gettin ready fer skool.. tts all i ask fer, n he wun gif it.. my money is gone, my priviledges r all gone.. n now he wants to take YE away frm mi.. it hurts.. it hurts alot.. satan's firy darts are hitting mi again.. i wan u lord.. y dun u help mi? Dont write me off just yet,5:15 AM im in big trouble. dad found out tt i bought a hi card! was very very angry last nite. he took my hp away and made mi gif him all my money, so now i dun haf a single cent on mi. he alsho threaten nv to let mi go to youth again! cried alot last nite, hmm.. but there's nothing i can do, juz pray n pray n pray, hope tt he'll let mi go to youth tml.. alsho being banned frm e hse fone n com! onli got tis 5 mins to cum online onli coz sis let mi check sumting fer my work. my gosh.. pray.. o lord.. be wif mi.. arghh.. prob wun be bloggin often anymore.. dun no how long am i banned frm e com n fone.. but my hp is prob gone fereva.. cu pples.. Dont write me off just yet,12:47 AM hmm... finally got to talk to desiree abt it.. im suppose to feel better, but im not.. tellin her abt it juz made e memories so fresh in my mind.. it rely hurts.. remembering it rely hurts.. its not his fault, it isnt. is it mine? Dont write me off just yet,8:05 PM juz finished dinner. heh, talked to crispin juz now. made mi laughed alot, heh heh. happie now, heh, sang songs n songs n songs except i juz didnt no wad he was singing abt! heh, but it was cool, heh. cant wait to c e YE pple on sat! hope mum lets mi go. heh, i miss dem sho much! heh, hmm.. duno wad i sld do now.. sis wana use com.. hmm.. heh, anywaes.. juz cant wait fer sat! heh, but im feelin much betetr now. im happieeee. heh.. Dont write me off just yet,6:46 PM hmm.. juz came back frm lot1.. laughed a lot today, but sumhow didnt seem to laugh fer a reason. hmm.. juz laughed fer e sake of laughing. hmm.. sho i guess tt wld make it fake laughter? but sis said tt i was better lyk tis.. lyk i didnt snap at her or anything.. so i guess i haf to go on lyk tis? hmm.. yea.. started out quite ok tis morn, but coz sis talked a lot. she didnt mean anything, was juz talkin normally, but i guess sum stuff tt she said kinda affected mi again.. made mi rmb wad happened.. hmm.. sho tt kinda put mi down abit.. but i guess its juz all in e mind.. theres rely NO POINT in being sad.. sho im not goin to be sad.. im not going to be sad.. heh.. im happieee, i must be happieee. heh.. yea.. i cant b sad coz of these kinda things.. no matter how much it hurts.. Dont write me off just yet,5:17 PM heh. a beautiful morn today eh? heh heh.. juz chattin online wif faith darling now. heh, im happie. =p goin ta watch a movie wif sis n hui li later.. hmm.. actually wanted to watch initial d, den realized tt e tickets must be all gone by now!heh, oh well, sho i tink we're juz goin to go after lunch n c wad shows there are. =p. heh, i am happieee, pracitcing being happieee, coz i muz be happieee coz i haf god. sho i am happieeeeeee. heh heh, yea, im not lying. i muz be happieeee coz jesus ish wif mi! heh heh. ---being happieee ish good--- Dont write me off just yet,11:46 AM juz finished dinner. heh, talked to crispin juz now. made mi laughed alot, heh heh. happie now, heh, sang songs n songs n songs except i juz didnt no wad he was singing abt! heh, but it was cool, heh. cant wait to c e YE pple on sat! hope mum lets mi go. heh, i miss dem sho much! heh, hmm.. duno wad i sld do now.. sis wana use com.. hmm.. heh, anywaes.. juz cant wait fer sat! heh, but im feelin much betetr now. im happieeee. heh.. Dont write me off just yet,3:45 AM heh, juz finished talkin to aunty gwen. feel rely sho much better now. heh, everything's gona be ok. yep yep, coz god loves mi, n i love him! its g8, my life may not b purrrfect but wif god im contented. =d everything's gona b fine, i haf a family who loves mi, frens who care fer mi and an awesome god! i love you god! ---my god is sho awesome!--- Dont write me off just yet,9:00 PM heh, feelin sho much better now! talkin to faith juz now, talkin to her alwaes makes mi feel better! heh, now talkin to aunty gwen, blog later.. Dont write me off just yet,8:37 PM heh, feelin abit better now. juz had a crazy conference wif ade n mel. lolx, talk lotsa crap, heh. made mi laugh.. fer real now, iit wasnt a fake laugh.. heh.. still feel abit down but brighter. =) Dont write me off just yet,4:11 PM im sick.. sick of everything.. i juz wan to run away.. run anywhere.. juz away frm here. there's nothing i can do, except to blog.. feel sho bored.. where are my frens? where r dey..? feel lyk i juz got stabbed by sum unknown source.. coz its hurting so so much.. n yet e onli thing i can do is to endure it coz i dun noe where its cumin frm.. i cant even cry.. even thou i rely wan to.. i cant pull out e knife.. it hurts.. so so much.. but i cant cry.. i wun cry.. Dont write me off just yet,2:33 PM hmmz, playin e piano kinda helped i guess. at first juz played all e hurt out den i felt a lil better i guess. hmm.. den tried to play all e happie songs.. dey helped.. but i still feel a lil.. i duno wad's e feeling, juz feel down. hmm.. laughin.. i duno, its not real. mum n dad are at hme today wif hui li and e others.. over e lunch table we talked a lot n i laughed and joked a lot.. but its not real. e laughter isnt real.. e smiles isbt real.. im not tt happie inside.. i juz want e comfort tt onli a fren can gif, but nobody's here.. nobody at all, im surrounded by pple but yet all alone.. Dont write me off just yet,1:02 PM tis is rely gettin so painful.. i rely need sum1 to talk to..but there's nobody there.. there's juz nobody there. juz finished playin e piano. its e onli thing tt comforts mi now. Dont write me off just yet,7:59 PM hmm.. hui li woke up oreadi.. but despite tt.. i still feel so alone.. i rely hunger fer sum1 to talk to.. sum1 tt'd understand... ok, mayb not understand, but sum1 who wld be able to cheer mi up by juz being there or makin mi laugh.. wad i need now isnt my family, not in my couz, its a fren i need.. i rely feel so so lonely.. there's no one there.. tried callin desiree but she's still sleeping.. the hse is all quiet.. onli the sounds of e tv accompanies mi.. i rely miss faith now.. but i guess i sldnt go bother her.. Dont write me off just yet,7:08 PM phew.. juz had a very very long night.. it seemed so long.. cldnt fall aslp until rely rely late at nite.. conferenced on e fone wif esther n melvin den tried to slp wen esther called back. hmmz.. after tt den rx an sms frm ty. sho chatted abit again. hmmz.. but e weird thing is, after all tt, i still cldnt get to sleep.. onli slept fer a few hrs last nite.. n woke up early in e morn.. sis n hui li still sleeping.. feels lyk dere's no one at hme.. i feel so alone.. hmm.. despite wad happened yest, i still feel "ok" i guess.. juz a lil pang in my heart.. he told mi not to waste my time.. Dont write me off just yet,6:41 PM hmmz, im ok..rite? im gona b ok.. Dont write me off just yet,7:40 AM *stabbed* tis is gona hurt.. Dont write me off just yet,7:01 AM hmmz.. well everything's ok again. e prob between e both of dem ish ok now.. hmmz.. feel so happie fer dem.. haiisx. but duno y.. after feelin sho happie coz dey're happie now.. i duno y.. i feel abit down today.. hmmz.. duno y.. juz feel down lor.. but im glad tt faith n e rest a happie now.. Dont write me off just yet,6:02 AM heh. hmmz... last heard frm one of e "pple" tt i talked to. heh, seems tt everything ish much better now. duno fer sure but im sure tt dere's hope! yay! hmmz.. if he's alright tt means sum1 sure be too.. hmmz.. oh well, juz gona pray n hope fer e best! lalalalala Dont write me off just yet,2:34 AM i feel so down! how can so many off my frens be feeling so terrible n yet i can do nothing abt it?! its cruel, i t rely is! i rely cant bear to c all of those pple tt i love and care for feeling this way! it rely hurts mi wen dey dun cheer up, it rely does.. it makes mi feel so terrible tt i cant do anything abt it.. God.. onli u no wad dey're going through.. pls be wif dem.. b wif dem lord.. even though dey feel so bitter.. lord.. it pains mi to c dem in tis state.. it rely rely hurts.. Dont write me off just yet,10:08 PM heh heh.. chattin now.. feelin abit sianz. chattin wif lian jye, hamz, and faith. hheh.. juz crapping around.. nothing much.. hmmz.. laughin sho much.. talkin wif dem makes mi happie, dey make mi feel sho much betta. praise e lord! ---god ish sho good--- Dont write me off just yet,6:11 AM Dont write me off just yet,6:10 AM my heart feels lyk its tearing into thousands of lil pieces.. i juz feel sho sad fer mi frens.. but nt onli tt.. i juz feel so helpless coz i cant do anything in my situation. i juz wana let him no how i feel but yet im afraid of how he will react.. and yet.. i tink tt im too young fer these kinda things.. i duno y.. i juz feel so so down.. i cant show my feelings fer him.. and den i feel so jealous wen he;s wif others.. dere's nothign i can do abt it.. i dun think theres a point deying it anymore.. i tinki've rely fell in love wif him. i dun no wad it isabt him bt wen i talk yo him i feel happie. n wen he talks to mi.. im even happier.. bt.. dere's nothing i can do to change it coz we're only frens. n nothing's goin to change tt.. Dont write me off just yet,3:59 AM hmmz.. been talkin to various pple yest n today.. it amazes mi how sho many of mi frens haf sho many problems.. haiisx.. i rely feel fer dem.. n.. i duno y.. i juz feel so useless wen e onli thing i can do ish juz to b there to listen, i cant gif dem any valid advice coz its juz simply beyond mi. it gives mi such a sense of hopless-ness, i mean.. dey are my frens.. i love dem.. i'd do anything fer dem! but yet i cant comfort dem wen dey need it.. dey feel stabbed.. hopeless, lyk dey cant trust any1.. n yet i cant comfort dem.. i feel hopeless.. lord.. pls help mi.. pls be wif dem.. Dont write me off just yet,12:43 AM hmm.. had a good day at church today. was actually punctual fer once! heh heh, waited outside fer e others to finish foundation class den fellowshiped abit wen dey got out. heh.. praise n worship wuz g8 n rely had fun praising God. hmmz.. today ish father's day. yest bought a pair of pants fer dad.. heh heh. today after church we presented a collection of "cards" tt we did in camp fer apostle to him. faith did e "presenting" n hamz did e praying. heh heh, den we all and gave him a hug.. hmmz.. was abit disappointed today coz almost all of e young eagles and sum peeps were going to mt alvernia to meet apostles dad n juz show him love but mum didnt allow mi to go.. haiisx.. go well.. i guess tt they're dere now.. n as apostle preached today, we muz obey our parents! oh well.. at least dey cld go.. heh.. actually, wrote a song juz now.. kinda piece-ing it together now, mayb i'll call faith later n discuss it wif her..

You're always there

you sit beside mi,
ur alwaes there,
ur spirit lives within mi,
i know tt u care.

wanna praise ur name o'lord
we wana praise ur name, on high..
just wana see ur face o'lord,
because, we know tt ur there.

and we will praise you lord
the highest above,
we will praise you lord
who reigns on the earth,
we will praise you lord,
because you died for us..

our souls cry for you o'lord,
we seek for comfort in your mighty love,
you're always there to hold us,
because ur love never ends..

and we will praise you lord
the highest above,
we will praise you lord
who reigns on the earth,
we will praise you lord,
because you died for us..

hmmz.. mayb it still needs a lil sumtin.. need instruments.. Dont write me off just yet,2:33 AM woo hoo.. juz camp back frm youth camp! it was rely sho awesome! had sho much fun juz fellowshiping wif everyone n praising God! woo hoo.. im energized!

havent even parted wif dem fer a day yet n im already missing dem! its juz so great how we haf rely bonded sho much and we know tt its genuine care and concern tt each and everyone of us have fer each other. we rely love each other very much, after all, we're a body in christ, if we dun love each other, who else will? but its juz rely great to b able to rely on pple n knowing tt dey're alwaes be there to cheer you up whether its guy to guy or gal to gal or juz guy gal, heh.. y b shy? we're all brothers n sisters in christ rite? we haf to be there fer each other!

heh.on e first day it was a heavy downpour n many pple was L8(not mi of course!)! but it was ok coz all of us still made it! i mean every single person! not even one missed e first day! it was rely g8! wen everyone had finally arrived we had a sorta "pep talk" wif aunty gwen and she was telling us juz sum awesome things basically.

den we sand praises to God and finally.. we had apostle! we had a lil "sermon" wif him fer a few hrs and e was rely g8! felt so enlightened wen he taught us so many things.abt our gifts, manifestation and many things besides. his preaching rely inspired mi to be a better better person, its juz so enlightening! it was rely rely g8.

after tt few hrs we had a lil rest and den played a few games. heh heh, juz e normal games tt we normally play at camp, e blanket game etc.etc. after tt we had lunch n a lil rest. heh heh.. our next programme after tt was organized by RACHEL!(woo hoo! yay! she's back!) she had a few frens wif her and dey helped we played lots of teamwork games and trust games where we had to rely on each other to not get hurt. was a bit hard at first but we all trusted in each other and were fine.

after tt we had again, a lil rest n den we had a BBQ but e thing was, e BBQ took so long to cook! heh, a few of us, i tink cher,lyn,mi, jo, dong and my sis n faith, we juz got 1 or 2 of dem to pick up e guitar and we sang praises to God, was g8 coz we were hafin fun while killing boredom!

After dinner, we went to marijchi(eh eh..how to spell ne?) reserviour and played underground church. heh, was heaps of fun but i got e position of a spy sho i guess i didnt enjoy it as much as the others. but even thou it was lyk tt, i still thank God tt we did in a way enjoy ourselves even thou being "tortured" by alex.

hmmz.. after underground church,it was abt 11 plus and we went back to eagles nest, all took turns to bathe. we juz sat around fellowshipping while waiting fer each other to get out of e bathroom! heh.. it was g8 fellowshiping wif all e YE juz had dun laughin and all. later in the nite, we chatted summore and onli made a decision to go to sleep at 2 a.m the lastest. heh.. we slept i guess pretty well n woke up at 6 a.m coz we had to make breakfast fer everyone!

making breakfast was rely fun, esther did most of e drinks, faith, desiree, jolyn n sis did e bread, mi, cher and may did e scramble eggs! hahas.. making e eggs was abit of a laugh. i didnt exactly cook it but i cracked e eggs and beat them while cher n may did e cooking. e first two attempts were classed "ok" but it was definitely too dry and thin. e 3rd attempt was slightly better but still not tt gd.. hahas.. it was e 4th attempt and others wen cher decided to take up e challenge and to take may's place! e 4th one came out ok, but e 5th n 6th came out beautifu! heh, put all e attempts together, it looked "presentable" enuf we decided. n yea, tt basically was our breafast making experience! =p

at breakfast many of e guys were still sleeping! hahas.. we felt lyk.. "hmph.. we woke up so early to make breakfast fer dem n dey're sleeping???" heh heh.. but it was fine i guess. lols. after breakfast we were told to go to the living room fer instructions. it turned out tt we were goin to marijichi[=)] reserviour to haf quiet time there. it was so beautiful there! so peaceful and all. we all found our own spots and started doing our own quiet time. after abt half an hr of quiet time, we all gathered together and worshiped e lord together. e presence of the lord was definitely there, most definetly. as we sang e songs, many of us were moved to tears, including myself. e words juz touched us and we juz thought abt wad jesus did fer us, i mean.. he died on the cross! juz fer us! isnt tt awesome? heh.. but anywaes.. after tt, we were split into pairs to go and pray fer each other. i got paired up wif esther so we went on our way to go pray. we prayed fer sum time and understood each others needs or troubles at tt time. i tink tt e prayer was rely powerful and we took longer den e other groups coz wen we were done e others were alreadi together singing once again. so we joined in and sang n sang, yet again e presence of e lord was dere. we prayed together n prayed fer e camp and all was great. it was rely rely special! den we went back to eagles nest.

hmmz.. i tink we had a rest and we kinda lazed around n den had lunch. den we played lots of games, heh heh, lyk 007 etc.etc. den we set off not even knowing where we were headed to. apparently we were goin to go to sum trail n to decorate a "towel" there, i tink as a momento of our camp n den go to sum kinda bridge to take a group foto. but i lyk e quote tt we wrote there coz it was lyk.. we wrote: young eagles.. den below youth camp2005 and wrote our names all over it. but i lyk juz e very quote tt said "soaring to a higher place", cool or wad man?? anywaes.. it took us a long time to reach e place and we decorated it there. took e pic on e bridge and started walking on e path back to where we started.. gawd.. it was one heck of a long trail manz.. was sho long all of us felt sho tired..but we FINALLY reached eagles nest! woo hoo!

e only bad thing tt happened was at e starting of e trail, a few of us hitched a hike on sum person's car and there wasnt enuf space fer melvin sho he hanged on e car door thingy but his cap fell of n he jumped down to get it(hahas.. i no wad ur tinkin..)! sho he kinda injured his ankle. oo.. it was kinda bad coz he hurt it in e begining and if u tink abt it.. it muz haf gotton worse even thou he had bandages and stuff coz we rely walked a rely long way, hmmz.. he looked ok at dinner and he participated in our game after coz it wasnt too vigorous. but later in e nite wen we were writing cards fer apostle coz fathers day ish tis sun. yea.. sho den rachel n her frens prayed fer mel while we were doin e cards, didnt even realized it til sumone told mi. esther n faith also joined in. afterwards, all of us gerls(mi,cher,faith,lyn,may,desiree,sis,esther, n rina) sat together in a circle and took turns to pray fer him. we juz kept on praying n praying hoping tt he wld get better. but later in the nite, we got a shock coz we saw e car driving out of e driveway n learnt tt he was goin to e hospital! we rely freaked out den coz we were scared fer him, juz hurt all of us sho much tt he was in pain! sho once again we prayed, den aunty gwen told us tt he onli went there fer an x-ray and tt he wasnt in any "danger" or anything. we breath a sigh of relief but we still prayed constantly. we waited fer so long.. fellowshiping but they still didnt cum hme! up til abt 1 plus most pple were sleeping alreadi n onli mi, esther, may, crispin and lian jie. sho us few juz fellowshiped n yea laughed abit but cldnt laugh too loud.. den we were talkin abt e language of tongues and desiree said tt she rely wanted e gift. sho esther and i decided to pray fer her to get e gift(we heard frm aunty gwen abit how to pray fer it) sho we juz brought her thru e prayer.. at first was juz nothing but we encouraged her to try n to juz follow along and tt was wen she started mumuring but we stil cldnt hear it! but after abt 3 tries again n again she finally got it! hallelujah! praise the lord! she finally has e gift! my gawd.. i myself was sho happie coz in e past 2 days.. e holy spirit gave mi a new tongue! aint tt sweet? den afterwards esther went to sleep but i and desiree tried to pray fer e gift in may but she didnt get it. but nebermind, we can try it again another time.

so yea.. basically.. we spent e whole nite fellowshiping and praying fer mel. it was until 4a.m wen aunty gwen said tt e guys had to go to their bedrooms but e 3 of us gals were allowed to stay n fellowship. we chatted summore.. once again prayed summore(tis time desiree cld use her gift of tongues!). hmm.. it was abt 4.40a.m wen we saw a light in e drive way it was e car! we hurried to pray summore fer e x-ray results but nobody came into e hse! but den tian yu gave us a shock wen he suddenly "appeared", turned out to b tt dey came in frm e back door. we asked him where everyone else was but he juz kept sayin "in singapore"(yes i no! wad an idoit! hahas..jk ty!=p) yea sho den we dun care lor e 4 of us juz sat outside fer a while kinda "chat" but not much.. hmm.. den issac "appeared"(heh heh) n asked ty if he was ready he said yes den dey LEFT le.. hmmz.. haiisx.. once again pray pray pray! den i tink it was abt 5a.m.. felt abit tired sho i tot.. u no.. juz rest fer abt 15 mins den we wake up n pray again.. but u no wad?? tis ish sho infurating! we fell asleep n nv woke up!!!:'( was such a waste! coz in e morning issac told us tt dey reached eagles nest at abt 5:30a.m and we fell alsweep at 5! arghhh we were shoo lyk.. ARGHHH wif ourselves in e morning. hahas.. lyk.. Y did we fall asleep? sigh.. oh well.. wads done cannot b undone, we juz praise God tt mel is ok now i guess. heh heh

anywae.. den we woke up at abt 8a.m in e morning and breakfast was ready(heh heh, done by e guys) hmmz.. we still tot tt e breakfast tt WE(a.k.a e gerls) made was better! heh. but it was ok lar, heh heh, EDIBLE! =p=p. well again we had quiet time after breakkie but we had it in eagles nest n in pairs. heh got paired up wif lyn we finished our quiet time den looked around thinkin how tired evyerbody looked. heh heh esp cheryl! coz she was one of e first pple, ok.. she was e FIRST to go n sleep! n yet we were more energetic! heh heh. but muz cool manz cool.

den after tt we had kinda of a singing thing again.. but e two songs tt rely touched my heart was "amazing love" and "amazing grace" heh heh. beri similar. but wen i heard e lyric u no..
" amazing love, how can it be? tt u my king wld die fer mi. amazing love, i know its true, n its my joy to honour u, in all i do, i honour u." n in amazing grace "amazing grace how sweet the sound, tt saved a wretch lyk mi.. i was lost but now im found.." aint tt amazing? i mean, who else wld save a wretch lyk mi? who else? no one else! onli God! he's amazing. was sho touched by the lyrics tt i started tearing. but i still felt happie! woo hooo ----God is good----

heh, den afterwards.. haiisx.. sad to say.. tt mi,lyn,esther,faith,rina,cher n sis had to wash apostle's car! hahas.. it was actually a forfiet fer 007 tt we played e day before but we didnt haf e time to do it. but hehe.. it was actually lots of fun, spraying water everywhere help everyone. hehe.. but was sho sad.. after tt go hme le.. haiisx.. den it was e end of e camp le.. haiisx... i miss them sho much!!! :'(

juz put down e fone, was talkin to desiree(BLUEY!) hahas.. was juz talkin abt e happenings and everything.. sigh.. sunday seems sho far away..

i miss dem sho much! Dont write me off just yet,12:35 AM hmm.. today had a g8 time on msn wif cher n mel. hehex.. laugh lyk crazie, 3 of us keep talkin crap. hehe.. was sho funi wen i keep freakin cher up, she was rely sho freaked out tt mel wld find out abt : *toot8 *toot* *toot*
hehex.. of course, tts a secret, cant write it down here.. heh heh.. but now.. hmm.. mayb ish juz now laugh to much lar sho now moody lor.. but nebermind! tml ish YE camp! woo hoo! cant wait! but one or two pple cannot cum.. *sigh*.. Dont write me off just yet,5:35 AM wahaha.. YE camp ish juz around e corner! day after tml! muz hurri go n pack pack pack! hehe.. cant wait ta c all those darlings again! muahaha.. i miss dem sho much! Dont write me off just yet,6:23 AM ugh.. how can i resent her wen i love her(lyk a sis n fren..)! how can i feel lyk tt wen she has been so sweet to mi?! n i admit, i felt jealous n resentful of her! ugh.. wad e heck ish happening to mi? juz becoz of.. Dont write me off just yet,4:16 AM well.. got to c him today but didnt rely talk much.. sigh.. dun dare to say much here in case sum reads it.. haiisx.. tinkin of him.. is it rong? haf i fallen fer e rong person? he's nv been out of my range, but den.. he's nv been in my reach either.. Dont write me off just yet,4:11 AM came back frm church. had camp briefing juz now. sho we're goin to haf our camp in eagles nest coz aunty gwen said tt e camp place thingy was too run down. lookin fw to it, ish tis wed sho muz do finish hol hw.. see-ing joy tml to do e chin hw.. haiisx.. sianz..
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`how cld i resent her wen i love her lyk a fren?*` Dont write me off just yet,1:30 AM wahaha.. sho tired.. went fer dim sum wif mii family n hui li and grandma.. after tt went ta jurong point, sianz lehz.. sho tired now.. got headach.. sigh.. anywaes.. sho happie! my piano has arrived! came tiis morning, we bought it frm ah yi coz hui li dun wana play le sho we tot since i needed one alsho so we bought frm her lor.. hehe.. sho happie.. but cant rmb too much leh.. muz practice! hehe.. but im still happie.. Dont write me off just yet,3:58 AM phew.. havent written in a few days.. been catching up wif my hol hw! ugh.. still got sho many to do! next week still haf YE camp! hehe.. anywaes.. juz tot i wld update tis abit hehe.. prob wun b writting tt much in the next 2 wks coz got abt 6 major assignments i haf to do in less den 2 wks!!! hehe.. goin ta do hol hw now.. buaiix! muah! Dont write me off just yet,7:22 PM hm... juz came back frm malaysia.. tired tired.. hahas.. but had fun i guess.. whole body aching, shoulders, legs, n mi back.. coz of horse riding.. rode fer few hrs on e mountain range hahas... fun but im HURTING now. hahas.. it was sho fun on e mountains n mi horse was abit nottie but was g8. hehe, but now im back at mi hme sweet hme! hehe.. n my darling hp! lols... Dont write me off just yet,5:44 AM wooo hooo... finally haf e whole hse to myself today! hehehe.. mum&dad gone ta work le, sis went ta remedial.. hahas.. sho i got e hse to myself.. heh heh.. lols. haiisx.. but now i bit sian sianz de, watchin west side story while usin e com at e same time.. hahas.. sho sianz... later goint o malaysia le.. Dont write me off just yet,7:57 PM i lub God!!
hahas.. wld u believe it ? SIS ish cumin ta e young eales camp! lols. was abit peeved off a first coz u no.. i tot.. i neber rely haf fun wif her around and everything. but i felt sho bad abt feelin tt way coz u no.. she's my sis.. i duno y i sld feel tt way.. hahas.. sho i decided ta read mi bible.. stumbled across a gd psalm or mayb it was juz Gods timing.. made mi feel sho much better abt everything n now i dun mind her cuming at all..

Psalms 6:
6:1- O lord, do not rebuke me in your anger.nor chasten me in hot displeasure
6:2- Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak; O lord , heal me, for my bones are troubled.
6:3- My soul is also greatly troubled; but You, O Lord-how long?
6:4- Return, O Lord, deliever me! Oh, save me for your mercies sake!
6:5- For in death there is no remembrance of You; in the grave who will give you thanks?
6:6- I am weary with my groaning; all night I make my bed swim; i drench my couch with my tears
6:7- My eyes wastes away because of gref; it grows old because of all my enemies.
6:8- Depart from me, all you workers of inquity; for the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
6:9- The Lord has head my supplication; the Lord will recieve my prayer.
6:10- Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled ; let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.

hahas.. these are the words tt comforted mi sho much.. dun no y but dey had a feelin effect on mi cozi was feelin sho horrible, to think tt i resent having my own sis there!

hahas.. anywaes.. mi God rocks.. here's a prayer i learnt..
Our father who art in heaven, hallow be thy name. thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as in heaven. give us today our daily bread. emigte our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil.
AMEN!

hehe.. aint tt a g8 prayer? im tryin ta mmemorise it now. hehehe.. God ish sho gooooood




Dont write me off just yet,5:13 AM wah.. tml goin ta malaysia.. i DUN WANA GO! haix.. tml got combined cell group lehz.. n im gona miss it AGAIN. haiisxx.. sianz lor..y i alwaes miss it de? den gona miss another wk of church.. :'( haiisx.. not fair.. summroe go malaysia cant contact everybody here.. haiisx.. Dont write me off just yet,1:50 AM (*)_tOrN tO pIeCeS_
i tink ive fallen fer u(l)
<>
i tink i rely have..(f)

Dont write me off just yet,1:28 AM

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

sho tired.. duno y now-a-days alwaes sho tired de.. haix.. today duno y.. beri moody.. no mood to do anything.. hahas.. talk half way on e fone i juz put down.. hehe.. aiya.. duno y lar.. den u no, i told my mum in e hols i muz meet elizabeth at least once coz we're doin e maths project together, she dun believe mi leh! stupid.. she say, "wad.. maths where got project one? maths onli practice wad!"stupid.. hate to say this.. but she ish so SUA KU!

ugh.. she dun believe tt its a freakin maths project, wad da hell can i dooooooo?

Dont write me off just yet,4:27 AM