cant believe tt 2 wks is over alreadi.. 2day marks e 2 wks anniversary of anne of green gables.. haiz.. i mean.. today's SATURDAY, n im AT HOME , doin NOTHING. wad da hell is tt??? i sld be at skool, wif mi darlingz.. practicing... hafin fun.. wif dem.. n e guyz too, stephan, kim, samuel, nazril.. blah blah blah... ARGHHH y is it so hard to get over? Dont write me off just yet,7:33 PM

cant believe tt one wk's been over since da musical! haiz.. it feels so weird tt we dun haf practice tomorow... so empty.. i juz feel, so sad..

i juz haf all these emotions inside of mi but i juz cant let dem out! i dun no y! i juz cant find the words! i'll write back later wen i can find dem..

Dont write me off just yet,2:31 AM was juz readin my past blogs n i feel lyk cryin... i cant believe i said all those things! abt how i sumtimes wish tt i nv joined anne! how damn bloody tired i was sick of it! how sick of rehearsals i was, how i wish i cld juz QUIT! wad da hell was i thinkin??? y didnt i cherished my time in anne even earlier den usual?? now tt anne's over i feel so lost.. y muz the things we luv be gone b4 we realized how much we RELY luv dem??

I mean... i've always loved anne.. n yea... the pple.. but i've nv rely known how much i luved dem...
now w/o dem im juz so sick of everything...
sick of my hw
sick of my bloody m.t teacher..
sick of maths
sick of skool
sick of tt bloody empty feelin inside mi,
sick of how depressed i am..
juz sick of my whole freakin life!
ARGHHHHH, Y MUZ ALL THE GOOD THINGS END SO FAST? Y??? Dont write me off just yet,2:53 AM haiz... it has been nearly a wk since anne's been over.. cant believe it.. cant believe tt im sctually survived, which is a understatment rely.. coz im practically a corspe.. i tot dat i flunked da sci test but thank goodness, i asked da cow n he said tt i passed...phew.. goin to get my marks on mon.. hope i didnt do too badly.. haiz... stayed back at skool 2day actually for sci remedial, n i hope tt my mum nv sees tis, but i skipped today's coz it was optional... coz in da first place, i was l8, in da second place, i was feelin so tired n fed up dat i cldnt think.. so i juz went to da libary wif huzzy and joy and studied my maths dere... gotta geog quiz 2morow, thanx goodness it onli a quiz not an exam or i think tt i'd die... haiz.. actually.. im practically die-in now... everyday i feel lyk i wun be able to live til the next day.. but unfortunately... i do.. haiz.. im juz glad tt 2morow is fri.. but derez no anne practice.. y has tis wk been draggin for so long? but yet the wks juz FLEW by wen we were doin anne, it practically left us behind in dust.. but now the days n hrs juz slowly go by.. ahhh.. da sleepless nites.. drowin in hw.. overwhlemed by my emotions.. but yet there's nobody to talk to.. nobody tt will understand.. im juz hidin under a blanket of smiles n joy.. where nobody rely knows how i feel.. onli huzzy does coz she feels e same way for nazi, but tts all.. e rest dun care.. dey're juz as happie as ever.. i dun think im eva goin to recover.. sounds ridiculous i guess, but im hurtin so much.. hurtin so much inside tt i muz pour it ALL out.. but there's juz NOBODY to pour my heart out to..im juz alone in a world of my own.. where nobody understands n dun want to anyway.. Dont write me off just yet,2:32 AM 2day is the 3rd day tt i have been through n im kinda glad to say, survived without anne.. its so hard for mi! everywhere i look sumting juz reminds mi of anne... it was lyk... my whole life revovled around anne... n now dat its over, i feel so lost.. lyk, there's nothing to plan my life around now.. there's juz tis feelin of emptiness dat surrounds mi everywhere i go, i expected it to b as bad as tis, but now i no how it rely feels.. to wake up in the morning knowin that its all over.. having to go through a whole day of skool without havin the incentive of havin anne practice later in da day... its so painful.. its not onli mi.. but most of us.. esp huzzy n mi.. we feel each others pain lyk no one else does.. it helps abit to no dat sum1 understands thou.. but the pain is still there.. im juz wondering... will i ever recover? coz it seems lyk i nv will.. Dont write me off just yet,6:37 AM UGH! i rely CANNOT believe dat anne is rely n truely over! i dun WANT to believe it! had a sleeply nite yesterday, everytime i closed my eyes i saw the anne pple, or kim.. i guess everybody no-es dat now anyway, so i can juz write it down here... i rely rely rely miss kim alot... and it has onli been 2 days... was juz lookin at da pics i took wif da anne pple i wld look at dem for a beri long time den start to tear den i'll juz put it away coz it hurts too much to look at dem... den... i cant take it anymore n take dem out again... i feel lyk i cnt stand it anymore, every min i either think of anne , everywhere i go sumthing reminds mi it... da anne poster, the flowers sent to our skool as congratulary presents, every where i go i c all these signs... even da hair s[ray dat we used!

the words(da alyssa version)
the words,
the words,
the words,
the words,
y wun they cum wen i want them?
took one step forward then two back,
never gt da chance to tell him..
da bridge plays on da piano...
i...cant find the words...
cant get out the phrases...
wen he needed luv...
i cant sing his praises...
Where... did the words go?
wen... i was beside him?
y... cldnt i show all the luv dat my heart.... felt towards him?
i adored him....
but i cant find the words....




yea yea yea... i no im beri lame... but i juz haf to let out my emotions... i mean.. today i juz cldnt concentrate in class... i juz psent time worrying abt my sci exam n another period of time thinkin abt him...haiz... im probably goin to flunk my sci test anywaiz...

ugh... cant write anymore now... gotta finish my sci presentation.. ew... im so sick of tis.. i miss anne sooooooo much! i think im in depression...
Dont write me off just yet,1:51 AM haiz... i cant believe it, in approx 9 n a half hrs, we're goin to do the last performance... i cant believe dat da first two is already over! ugh... i hate it! y muz time go so quickly? i onli seems yesterday dat i first joined the musical! the first time i made frenz there, da first time we all cried together.... haiz... i believe dat everything dat started has to end, so i guess tis is it, one of the highest points of my life is ending... juz lyk dat... quietly... without much sound, juz wif da cheering of the audience, and the sobs frm cast members behind the stage... Dont write me off just yet,7:19 PM came hme frm skool 2day.
tired sia... practiced for anne of green gables for abt 9 hrs 2day. next wk its gona b 13-16 hrs... woo... i STILL cant believe its cumin to an end soon... im gonna feel a feelin of emptiness, i no i will, i dun ven haf to experience it to realise it. i mean... goin hme after skool everyday??? after staying back till 10p.m at nite? SO not my lifestyle now....
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*sob sob* Dont write me off just yet,5:32 AM haiz... can u believe it? anne of green gables performance is actually next fri n sat! cant believe dat time has gone so fast... rely feel lyk cryin, gona miss everybody frm anne! we all had a gd cry the other day, while reharsaling, duno who started cryin, but within 5 mins, almost everyone was! den we got yelled at my mr sharil coz he tot dat we were talkin n not payin attention(we weren't anywaiz). but it was so sad....

anne of green gables never change,
we like you just this way,
anne of green gables, sweet n strange...
stay as you are,today....
thou blossoms fade n frenz muz part...
old grow the songs we've sung....
anne of green gables in our hearts...
you are FOREVER young....

*sob,sob,sob*.... i think im gona cry...

i cant believe it! wen da musical is over, im gona hug EVERYBODY, even da guyz, i dun care anymore, im gona miz dem so much!


Dont write me off just yet,3:43 AM